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The Weather In L.A. Is Really Nice Today

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Expert meteorologists around the country are saying that the weather in L.A. will be absolutely delightful today, with highs going into the 70s, even as the weather completely sucks in most of the United States.

Weather scientists say there is a 100% chance of your friends in New York and Boston complaining about the bitter cold on Twitter. However, experts say, there is a 0% likelihood that you will need to shovel your walk in Koreatown today.

Tracking the longterm weather outlook, meteorologists say you can expect yet another year of midwest and east coast friends repeating cliches about how L.A. has "no culture" and is full of vapid and self-centered people who wear sandals too much.