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L.A.-Hater Woody Allen Sucks It Up to Attend Los Angeles Film Fest

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Sure, the movie industry loves Woody Allen—at least enough to give him four Oscars—but he's not that into the company town, Los Angeles.

Allen has typically snubbed the Oscars, opting to play the clarinet at a Manhattan club (he did appear at the 2002 Oscars, to boost post-9/11 New York). But since his latest film has launched the LA Film Fest, Allen found himself in a land of "wheat-germ killers."

At last night's premiere of "To Rome With Love," Allen said, "I had a wonderful time making this picture in Rome. This does not mean that you'll enjoy it." Way to oversell, Woodman.

Anyway, back to "wheat-germ killers": That's how Allen imagine L.A. in "Annie Hall." When Allen's character Alvy Singer visits his friend Rob, Rob takes Alvy and Annie through Beverly Hills and says: "I've never been so relaxed as I have been since I moved out here, Max. I want you to see my house. I live right next to Hugh Hefner's house, Max. He lets me use the Jacuzzi. And the women, Max, they're like the women in Playboy magazine, only they can move their arms and legs."

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Annie raves that it's so clean and Alvy points out, "It's that they don't throw their garbage away. They make it into television shows." Rob continues his pitch, "Max, there's no crime, there's no mugging." Alvy replies, "There's no economic crime, you know, but there's-there's ritual, religious-cult murders, you know, there's wheat-germ killers out here."

The real question is: Will he meet up with his new BFF Lindsay Lohan? She probably drives like Duane.