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An Immodest Proposal

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In the latest of an increasingly dismal series of articles about the terrifying state of California's Economy, the lede says it all:

California, the eighth largest economy in the world, is broke.

Wait, what?

Since state legislators failed to meet an end of January deadline on an agreement to make up for California's $40 billion budget gap, residents won't be getting their state tax rebates, scholarships to Cal Grant college will go unpaid, vendors invoices will remain uncollected and county social services will cease. ...

"Included are $515 million in payments to the state's vendors and $280 million to help people with developmental disabilities. Other public assistance agencies will be left waiting for hundreds of millions of dollars," reports CNN.


"If there is no deal by Friday, state government workers will take their first furlough day," reports the San Diego Union Tribune. "Schwarzenegger has ordered state employees to take two days off a month without pay through June 2010 to save about $1.4 billion.

If we were having this conversation face to face, my contribution would consist solely of "bwuh... huh... whaaa?" and I'd be sputtering like a Model T. Because honestly, how in the hell does the "eighth largest economy in the world" end up broke? That's like writing that the "eighth fattest man in America died of Anorexia", or that "Ross actually stopped rambling in the most boring fashion possible". Which is to say, we are talking about something that should cancel out the thing that comes immediately before it. Like the Obama Administration.
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One of the most frustrating things about this crisis is how the entire economic situation is discussed by both politicians and journalists as some kind of natural disaster, ala` an earthquake or a hurricane. Just something that's sort of happened, with nothing we could possible have done to prevent it, and now that it's completely cornholing us on a nanosecondly basis, there's nothing we can apparently do to ameliorate1 the matter.

Nope, nothing to be done. No solutions we can think of. Well, as the State Government and the Republicans who live for throwing monkey wrenches into everything have no sense of honesty or imagination, and since Democrats are suffering from terminal invertebrateness, no solutions (that don't involve screwing the meekest citizens of the state) are forthcoming from Sacramento. Well, as they say, if you want something done at right, you've got to bitch and complain do it yourself.

That's why we at LAist are ready to offer our unsolicited services and propose a few ingenious solutions that, just maybe, could get us out of this fix. After the jump, behold the solution to all our fiscal woes.