How the Israel-Iran war is hitting close to home for many Southern Californians with ties to both countries

From his home in Irvine, Touraj Daryaee struggled to reach his 78-year-old mother, Mina Naraghi, in Tehran after Israeli missiles began falling over Iran.

“Emotionally, it is difficult because she lives by herself and she's very independent,” he said.

Daryaee teaches Iranian history at U.C. Irvine. He was born in Iran and spent his childhood there. His mother has visited him in Irvine, but does not want to leave Tehran.

Touraj Daryaee, left, with his mother who lives in Tehran.

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Courtesy Touraj Daryaee

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“She had gone two days ago to eat fish and chips with her friends, but then the big bomb fell right in the middle of the square where our home is,” he said.

“It took her about three hours, but she got home," he recalled. "I said, 'You don't need to go eat fish and chips when this is happening.'"

Daryaee has been able to relieve some of the anxiety through posts on Facebook he’s calling Iran War Log.

Hundreds of thousands of Iranian immigrants and Iranian Americans live in Southern California. It’s the largest Iranian population outside of Iran, and many have family bonds and other ties there.

Meanwhile, many others in SoCal have similar ties to family and friends in Israel.

It means both communities are navigating their daily lives here while managing the emotional rollercoaster of wondering whether the people they know and love on the other side of the globe are safe.

A missile notification while stuck in L.A. traffic

The exodus from Iran was mostly a middle class flight after the Islamic Revolution in 1979 that led many Iranians to settle in Brentwood, Beverly Hills, Westwood and other affluent L.A. neighborhoods.

Rachel Sumekh, center, with her mother Farahnaz Sumekh and Joseph Sumekh

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Courtesy Rachel Sumekh

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The number of people in Southern California born and raised in Israel is much smaller. But it's significant when you add the number of Jewish Americans who have ties to Israel as a Jewish homeland and whose relatives have moved there.

And to add to the complexity, the exodus of Iranians after the Islamic Revolution included many Jews, who also moved to Los Angeles.

Friday’s attack by Israel on Iranian nuclear installations and Iran’s launch of missiles in response led some Southern Californians to jump on platforms like What’s App and Signal to check on their loved ones.

“You get a message that bombs are on their way and you hold your breath that no one's killed as you're driving on the 110 [Freeway],” Rachel Sumekh told LAist.

Sumekh was born and raised in Southern California, but her Jewish roots in Iran go back nearly 3,000 years, she said, until her parents left — her father in the 1960s, her mother after the Islamic Revolution — and moved to L.A. where they met. Many of her relatives moved to Israel.

The war between the two countries is hurting both of her identities.

“I can speak, read, write, and cook in Persian,” she said.

So it saddens her that diplomacy between the countries has broken down. She feels it's necessary to stop the conflict and for whatever scenario emerges afterwards.

Sumekh organized a Passover Seder earlier this year that gathered a wide spectrum of people around the idea of personal and collective liberation.

“I'm creating traditions and gatherings and community where we're writing our future, as opposed to letting it be dictated by these traumatic moments,” she said.

A conflict halfway around the world that's here, too

While some Iranians and Iranian Americans in Southern California say they have not visited Iran because of the current regime’s authoritarian policies, those with ties to Israel say they go back and forth to celebrate life events and vacation.

Shlomit Jackson was born in Israel and lives in Long Beach. She travels frequently to Israel.

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Courtesy Shlomit Jackson

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“My brother was right there during Pride [celebrations]. Pride was beginning and he's in Tel Aviv,” said Shlomit Jackson, whose brother lives in Fullerton and arrived in Israel on June 9 with his wife and three children.

They have not been able to return, Jackson said, because of flight cancellations after Iran began sending missiles into Tel Aviv and other Israeli cities.

“I'm in communication with him constantly… he sleeps when he can, but not really,” she said.

Jackson is a fundraiser in Long Beach and Orange County for the Jewish National Fund. She was born in Israel and moved to the U.S. with her family when she was 8.

Some of the Jewish families she knows through work have reached out to her after the missile attacks to say they’re worried about relatives and friends in Israel.

Will this conflict lead to peace?

People interviewed by LAist for this story said the killing of people must stop.

“I'm by nature a pacifist,” said Azam Ali, a singer and composer who was born in Iran, raised in India, and now lives in Glendale.

She and her family are members of the Baha’i faith, which advocates for the unity of humanity. Members of the religion have been persecuted in Iran. Most of her family remains in Iran and the attacks by Israel have led her to have survivor’s guilt, she said, because she’s not there to help them directly.

“I'm just so upset about all this and I'm so tired of outside countries interfering constantly with Iran and I don't see that this is going to end well,” she said.

She’s worried about one cousin in particular who is in her 60s, never married or had children and is living alone. One of her cousin’s siblings would help if needed, Ali said, but her cousin has no one to help directly.

Azam Ali is a singer and composer who lives in Glendale and has family members in Iran.

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Courtesy Azam Ali

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This anxiety was put on the shoulders of people in Southern California already holding a lot from the actions targeting immigrant communities the last few weeks.

“My heart is heavy, and I mean that so sincerely… being in Los Angeles these last few weeks has already felt incredibly, incredibly heavy,” said Aaron Leven, a rabbi at Nefesh, based in L.A.’s Echo Park. He lived in Israel for his Rabbinic studies and some of his relatives have moved there.

Leven has joined other religious leaders opposing immigration raids by ICE agents in recent weeks.

What should people who are not directly affected by the Israel-Iran war say to those who are?

“I think it's really important to not immediately take sides and to just be kind,” said Ali. “The most important thing that you can carry with you as a human being is just to be kind to people because you never know what they are carrying inside.”