BONUS! UPDATE EDITION! Updates are in bold for those with little time, or poor eyesight.
Or maybe "Ex-LAX", or "LAX is their service motto", or "insert witty LAX subject line here." Alternatively, "Here is Your Hard-Hitting, Jounalistic, CNN Level of Research Story About What Makes LAX Suck. With In-Depth Reporting, Footnotes, Bibliographies, Pie Charts, Links To Other Blogs, Hotlinks Galore, and The Use of BOLD Fonts For Extra Emphasis!"
Granted, Los Angeles has one of the ugliest airports in the United States. Possibly even the world. Plus if you've ever been to an airport like DFW or JFK, it's hard to believe how small LAX is. Basically just a big "U" that you drive in and out of, although that's never really easy either, what with shuttle buses and taxis screaming by at Mach 1 speeds on the left, and on the right. They sure didn't drive like this in Hicksville. In fact, the only car in town was operated by Mr. Olsen, the town constable, and he never drove it over 35, even on a hot day.
This is also the first thing people see when they fly into the city for the first time, unless they've been smart and chose to fly into Santa Ana or Burbank. Give us those airports any day over the souless , THX-1138 world of LAX. In fact, on a list of airports to be stranded in, LAX has to be near the bottom of the list, topped by other more appealing places like Denver's massive mall-like airport, the sprawl of BBQ, bookstores, and gift shops that is DFW, the tram-riding funtacular experience of IAH in Houston, or even the Muncie, Indiana municipal airport.