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Top 5 Things You'll Fantasize About on a Juice Cleanse

Photo by Krista Simmons/LAist
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We've been doing a lot of juicing coverage here at LAist HQ as of late. And on Monday morning we're going to put it into a segment for our friends over at the KTLA Morning News, giving them the rundown on everything from detox cleanses to whole fruit juicing with a Vitamix to how to DIY with a CSA that caters to juicers.

Though one of our editors did a juice cleanse and didn't dig it, this here food journo and avid juicer had never done a prefab cleanse, so for the sake of not being completely clueless on live TV, we decided to give it a go. And it's actually not as terrible as it might sound.

Pressed Juicery was kind enough to send over a 3-day cleanse for us to try out. We are avid home juicers and have done our own DIY detoxes with whole fruit/raw food, but this whole prefab thing was totally new to us.

We're on day number two, and we've come to a couple realizations. First, we'll state the obvious: Having to write about food all day while not eating is pretty damn torturous. But our cravings have been a little more surprising. What we're lusting after at any given moment pretty much depends on what's popping up in our Instagram feed, but there have been a few consistencies. Here's what we're fantasizing about most:

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1. Chewing: The pressed cleanse consists of 7 bottles of juice per day, and in between that you're supposed to be drinking 8 glasses of water. That basically means you're constantly drinking. Much as we love to chug, we're excited to get our incisors a workout when this whole thing is said and done. Surprisingly, the one thing we really want to chew on is a massaged kale salad. This one might sound surprising given the amount of green juice in the program, but there's something about masticating on a fat bowl of fiber that just seems so appealing. Well, that and the nutty, salty cheese we love to toss into our salads. But that's another story.

2. Vanilla almond milk: You'd think with all that liquid we'd be over it, but part of the Pressed cleanse is an awesome drink made with almonds, dates, vanilla bean, sea salt, and filtered water that you get to drink at the end of the day. And trust us, you crave it. It's about the only thing with any semblance of substance or texture. Plus it tastes like a milkshake. So there's that.

3. Protein. After the cleanse is over, you're meant to ween yourself off with a mostly-vegan and plant-based diet. But honestly, we can't wait to grind on a luscious lamb burger, or Langer's pastrami on rye, or rich pork broth tsukemen from Tsujita. We're just going to have to stop right there, because talking about it is sort of painful.

4. Talking about something besides cleansing: We've totally turned into one of those L.A. people who can't stop talking about their diet. But to our credit, it's hard to think, must less talk, about anything else when you haven't eaten in 48 hours. There have been some really cool euphoric moments worth mentioning though.

5. Not having to pee all the time: Between going to the bathroom and constantly drinking, it's a minor miracle that we had time to write this post. It's the casualty of the career.