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Bus stops all over town are adorned with advertisements for the Real Estate Wealth Expo, coming to the LA Convention Center April 30 - May 1. Donald Trump will be speaking on How to Get Rich (saving how to file for bankruptcy for the next expo, we suppose). And Tony (oops, Anthony) Robbins, the "foremost authority of peak performance for business and life strategies" will be self-helping those who want to fork over the $150 bucks (act now and, big surprise, you can get a deal!). There are also exhibitors, the guy from Trading Spaces who likes to paint cozy country kitchens gunmetal gray, and an apparently insane Russell Simmons, who so doesn't need this. If you must go, please tell us about the freakshow. Just don't buy any prime swampland while you're there.