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Arts and Entertainment

Resentful Hollywood Failure Steve Bannon Says All Actors Are 'Dumb As Ticks'

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Former White House Chief Strategist and known Hollywood wannabe Steve Bannon had some fighting words for his former adopted hometown Thursday. Speaking on the Breitbart News Daily radio show, Bannon said that all actors were dumb and lazy, comparing them to "pieces of furniture," according to The Hollywood Reporter.

Bannon—whose credits include the Sarah Palin doc The Undefeated, the 1991 Sean Penn flop The Indian Runner, and the travel ban—really gave Hollywood the college try. Unfortunately, like many a Hollywood striver, Bannon's dreams alone were not enough to carry him to cinematic success.

Although he produced a number of films, Bannon's Hollywood tenure "was an undistinguished run that did not generate any box-office triumphs," according to the L.A. Times. A brilliant business deal in the early '90s for a share of Seinfeld royalties made him very rich, but an industry macher he was not. Or, as a former Seinfeld bigwig said when I cornered him at a BBQ earlier this year to beg for dish on Bannon: "I never heard of that guy until the rest of the world did."

Despite his seeming inability to gain traction in Tinseltown, Bannon has had great success in politics and media. He is the current and former executive chairman of Breitbart News, having left his post in August 2016 to run then-candidate Donald Trump's campaign. Once Trump took office in January, Bannon served as the right-hand man to the literal President of the United States before returning immediately to Breitbart after leaving the White House in August.

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Andrew Breitbart, the now-deceased founder of the site, once described Bannon, "with sincere admiration," as "the Leni Riefenstahl of the Tea Party movement." His comparison, not ours!

Her chilling role in the rise of Hitler—and by extension, the deaths of millions of Jews—aside, Riefenstahl was inarguably a brilliant filmmaker. Unfortunately for him, this is where the Bannon/Riefenstahl comparisons end, as Bannon has yet to make a decent movie. Or, as George Clooney put it, "Steve Bannon is a little wannabe writer who would do anything in the world to have had a script made in Hollywood."

In a particularly poignant turn of events, it seems that—despite the fact that he couldn't get arrested in Hollywood but ascended to the highest echelons of American power elsewhere—Bannon still just really wants to make it in the entertainment industry. According to a story published a few weeks ago by medium-reputable source Page Six, insiders say "Steve Bannon is getting back into the movie business — and that the gunslinging conservative is particularly interested in making Westerns." Unfortunately, Bannon seems to be taking a particularly combative approach as he attempts to re-enter the Hollywood waters.

"By the way, you've got to understand something: These actors and actresses, they're all dumb as ticks — and they're all lazy," Bannon said on the radio show Thursday, as quoted by The Hollywood Reporter.

"Right, they're like pieces of furniture," he continued. "They're all dumb as ticks. By the way, that's why movie attendance is down, people are tired of it. That's why they're not watching the National Football League, cutting the cord at ESPN. They've politicized everything, and you guys are voting with your feet, which I think is fantastic."

In conclusion, we hope that Bannon and his westerns find as much success as Jerry Bruckheimer and Gore Verbinski’s remake of The Lone Ranger.

Related: Watch Actors Do A Reading Of Steve Bannon's Insane Rap Musical About The L.A. Riots

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