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'Playboy' Says Teen Bride Courtney Stodden Doesn't Meet Their Rigorous Standards

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Courtney Stodden, who is almost famous for being an oversexed teen bride, received several offers to work in the porn industry after turning the big 1-8 this week. For a hot second, it looked like she was considering it, but she announced on Twitter this week that she didn't want to do porn but she would like to pose for "Playboy":

The magazine's response: Dream on.You see, "Playboy" has rigorous standards, and they say Stodden falls far short of them. Sources told TMZ that Stodden "doesn't meet the standards of a Playboy model." They added that she looks too "enhanced." Because, uh, "Playboy" is so well-known for its natural, unretouched beauties, obviously.

One (catty and/or blunt) source added: "[Playboy] would NEVER take her. I don't think anybody really wants to see that anyway."

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Is there anything about this exchange that isn't utterly depressing?