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Overheard in L.A.: Our Valentine's Day Sob Stories

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This week's edition of Overheard in L.A. features bits of overheard conversation from the farmer's market, the vet's office and, of course, Runyon Canyon.

Overheard of the Week
"OKCupid is taking too long, if this shit doesn't work, I'm going on Craigslist."
via @laura_luna

Yup
"Yesterday was Valentine's day. I texted my girl 10 times and no response. I'm in major shit."
At the coffee shop via @stephensurefire

Make A Date With Planned Parenthood
"So, like what do I do on Valentine's Day if I have this STD?"
In the street via @DBacherwrites

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We All Have Needs
"I need to be the metrosexual in a relationship."
via @Blackie_Onassis

Valentine's Day Failures
"Yeah, I was supposed to go on a Valentine's Day date, found out 30 minutes before the date that she's a liar...so..."
On campus via @criz_diego

Whoops
Nurse: "Are you here for anal sex? I mean anal gland expression."
At a veterinarian in West Hollwyood via @erinRyder13

Porn Star Compliments
"I thought you were great. It was like you were giving a blowjob to a Care Bear."
In Hollywood via @avflox

Appetizing Conversation
"I want to eat his ass - MAYBE fuck it - do you want some ranch dressing?"
At a pizza place via @KaseyMahaffy

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As He Does!
"...then Kenny G. had the audience whipped into a frenzy..."
In West Hollywood via @youdiejoe

Whatever Works, Man
Women to her dog, firmly: "Focus."
In Runyon Canyon via @swc90046

All The Stereotypes Are True
"I have a lot of stuff being shipped to me from Etsy."
In Silver Lake via @

Culinary Or Criminal?
Person 1: "Is this for stabbing?"
Person 2: "No, it's for rolling tortillas."
In an antique shop via @joshrencher

The Eternal Question
"So were those the parents or grandparents?"
At the farmer's market via @blowryontv

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Real Talk
Girl on a date wearing giant sunglasses: "I mean, yeah, I get to work with celebrities, but celebrities, like, SUCK!"
At Urth Cafe on Beverly via Julia Franz

Initiation Rituals
"Hey man, you're a cop now. You can eat donuts!"
via @DarciMonet

True Facts
Daughter: "I'll have a chai latte."
Father: "Next thing you're gonna be gluten-free and vegan."
In Venice via @jlevine

21st Century Compliments
"oh HEY, I googled you... I was impressed."
At a cafe via @birdsandfrogs

You Can Never Be Too Prepared
"I have enough candles to make it through the zombie apocalypse that isn't even coming!"
via @nicstanich

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Thoughts For Our Next Yelp Review
"I been to 6 rehabs man and this is the best one. They let you bring your phone, your laptop..."
On the train via @TheMontresor

Achieve Your Dreams
“If I can start eating sushi at 41 years old, anything is possible!”
via @jimholdridge

L.A. "Problems"
"This wouldn't be such a problem if you'd just buy me two cars."
via @peggyarcher

Trying Something New
Woman: "This is my West L.A. look."
Her friend: "I'm not sure I like it."
In the Valley via @neogaia

How We're Taking A Stand on Facebook
"I posted that article on purpose. I hope I lose some Facebook friends over it."
via @derekpr

How We're Aging Gracefully
"I want to cut bangs because my forehead just isn't as cute as it used to be."
via @TheBeeroness

Cafeteria Catholicism
Person 1: Are you getting ashes?
Person 2: Probably not. It's raining. Nothing worse than drippy ashes.
via @KKirsch1

Oh Yeah And That
"My haircuts always take a long time. Besides having a lot of hair, my stylist is always stoned."
via @foodlibrarian

As Long As Your House Doesn't Burn Down
"Now the whole world knows about Big Bear. This will actually help my property values."
via @TheLAPodshow

Literally?
"She literally threw me under the bus . . . to my face!"
via @breaksomething

Don't Hate Me Because I'm Beautiful
Woman #1: "You look great!"
Woman #2: "I know!"
At City Yoga in West Hollywood via Hollywood Amazon

Ouuuuch
Female twentysomething to another: "Well...I guess it could be worse. At least I don't look like Tegan or Sara."
At the Westfield Century City Mall via Jengalicious

Questionable Taste
"He's not very good."
At L.A. art show in front of a Chagall via Lisa Derrick

Our Overheard in L.A. feature relies on you to send us the strange conversations you overhear in this city. Send them our way at tips@laist.com. (In the e-mail, put "overheard" in the subject and tell us who said it, where they said it and any amusing context.)

Previously:
Overheard in L.A.: Don't Laugh At Our Crazy New Diet
Overheard in L.A.: Starf*ckers At Sundance
Overheard in L.A.: Why Being Beautiful Is So Important
Overheard in L.A.: How We're Gonna Get Famous
Overheard in L.A.: All We Want For Christmas
Overheard in L.A.: How Our Dreams Were Crushed
Overheard in L.A.: Places You Might Hear "YOLO"
Overheard in L.A.: Shit People Say At Auditions
Overheard in L.A.: Our Rule For Dating Porn Stars
Overheard in L.A.: How We're Ending Our Relationships
And more!