Overheard in L.A.: The Wannabe Housewives of Malibu

This week's edition of Overheard in L.A. features bits of overheard conversation from a backyard picnic in Irvine, a cubicle in Santa Monica and Meltdown Central (a.k.a. Hollywood).

Overheard of the Week
"He wants to buy a house in Manhattan [Beach]. Ugh. I don't want to be a Manhattan Beach housewife -- I want to be a MALIBU housewife!"
Chaya in Venice via Rachel Dotson

It's So Hard to Tell
Woman to her man: "Sometimes I think I'm Buddhist."
Outside of Bulan in Silverlake via Tara Pak

Shameless
Woman: "Hey! You got a bike now!"
Man: "Yeah, I stole this bike last night..."
At a train stop via @KimHuston

Package Deal
"For $14,000, woman, I'd hope those implants come with Wifi."
In Brentwood via @avflox

Forget the Patch
"He said, if you give up smoking, I'll give you a dishwasher."
On the train via @MarcusDaley

Get A Chamber?
"It was so sexual, even the mic wanted to jump into the saxophone."
via @A_Felds

The Last Straw
"And then she had the nerve to screenshot everything I said."
via @YGLA

The Hippies Won
"Never thought I'd see the day when you could smoke pot in California but not eat foie gras."
via @janewells

Resident expert
"Well, you can't just get one llama."
Backyard picnic in Irvine via Mason Stockstill

Sex Change
Coworker: "I should give up on men and just be an amoeba."
In Santa Monica via Lisa Angelo

We're Not In Jersey Anymore
"The beach is a place, not an activity."
via @mikeylikestv

Keeping It Classy
"Yeah man, I'm on my second divorce this year."
via @LiannaC

Fairest of them All
"Fairest in the land? Robert Pattinson would have been a prettier Snow White."
via @ActionChick

We Have a Crisis
Manager at a Subway: "Somebody on the night shift is giving out too many olives!"
via @DarrenCarter

Renaissance Cat
"My cat watches Current. But she also watches softcore porn." ‪
At a Current blogger event via @Naomi718

What A Drag
"I'm too tired to trash relational aesthetics tonight."
At an opening via @robertcrouch

Rebecca of Sunnybrook FarmVille
Elderly woman referring to an iPhone game: "I promised Lisa I wouldn't let her animals die."
via @Smallz_Raskind

Just Don't Pull a Jason Russell
"Hold all calls, my downward spiral needs my full attention today."
In Hollywood via @DFTVYP

Our Overheard in L.A. feature relies on you to send us the strange conversations you overhear in this city. Send them our way at tips@laist.com. (In the e-mail, put "overheard" in the subject and tell us who said it, where they said it and any amusing context.)

Previously:
Overheard in L.A.: Why We're Sleeping With Our Agents
Overheard in L.A.: How We're Ending Our Relationships
Overheard in L.A.: What Our Shamans Are Telling Us
Overheard in L.A.: Our Natural Reaction to the Venice Boardwalk
Overheard in L.A. at Coachella: "You're Not My Bro, Dude"
Overheard in L.A.: Entering the Honeybadger Phase of Our Careers
Overheard in L.A.: What We REFUSE to Wear

LAist writer Amanda Schwartz contributed to this post.