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Two Dudes Pretended to Be Seth Rogen and Evan Goldberg To Get Their Script Read

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The *real* Evan Goldberg and Seth Rogen (Photo by Mike Windle/Getty Images for SXSW)
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In a classic Hollywood story to rival La La Land, two enterprising young L.A.-based screenwriters tossed Seth Rogen and Evan Goldberg’s names on their own script and forwarded it around town. And they almost got away with it, too…except, not really.

In all fairness, the script’s logline wouldn’t be out of place at an Apatow Productions pitch meeting; a wannabe screenwriter succumbs to the gig economy and starts driving for Uber, only to become a getaway driver for the Jewish mafia.

The Hollywood Reporter noted that industry luminaries including Will Ferrell, Megan Ellison and Mark Gordon received Jonathan Witz and Jeremy Spektor’s “The Kosher Nostra,” with the names of Rogen, Goldberg and imaginary UTA agent “Danny Goldstein” attached. Ferrell and Gordon’s offices declined to comment. We also called UTA and asked for Danny Goldstein's desk, just in case, but were unfortunately transferred to to the desk of real life UTA agent Spencer Goldstein. Spencer's assistant confirmed that he bears no relation to Danny.

Nonetheless, LAist was still able to procure the draft of "The Kosher Nostra" that’s been going around. Below, the first scene’s intro, which name-checks New York delis, the East Coast, college glory days and a dick-joke sight gag within its first lines:

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Here are a few more screenshots. Honestly, can you really blame any overworked Hollywood assistant doing script coverage for mistaking this for a genuine Seth Rogen production?

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(Screenshot of "The Kosher Nostra")
The final title card reads "EVOLUTION":

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(Screenshot of "The Kosher Nostra")
In case you were wondering, D.I.Q. is described earlier in the script as "Adderall for your cock."

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"We’ve all heard the myth about a young Spielberg slipping onto the Universal lot,” Witz told THR. “This was about getting our script past the ‘gatekeepers’ and into the right hands." Spektor and Witz were "quarterfinalists" in Script Pipeline's 2016 Screenwriting Contest Results for "Wheels," a previous script to which they presumably did not attach enough fake A-list talent.

Borrowing celebrity names and inventing a fake agent in order to get your script read is generally considered to be an industry no-no, but who knows? Maybe some studio exec will be impressed by Witz and Spektor’s chutzpah and sign them on the spot…fingers crossed, because all Hollywood really needs is a couple more plucky boys with a script and a dream.