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If you've spent any time looking for a place to rent in Los Angeles at the low end of the market, you've probably come across an ad like this. The subject line promises free rent, and there's usually a line about how no really, this post isn't too good to be true.
At some point the post transitions from a description of whether there are hardwood floors and off-street parking into a personal ad. The poster (probably an older, wealthier male) is looking for more than just a roommate (probably a much younger, cash-strapped female), and it becomes clear that, yes, you will pay for rent even if it's not with a check on the first of the month.
We recently came across a twist on this sort of ad, though Craigslist has since removed the original post. Initially, it sounds a little more straightforward than the others, because the posters are a couple (not a lonely dude!) looking for a live-in personal assistant to help them with their business in West Hollywood. All you have to do is work 14 hours/week, and in exchange you get to live near the high-flying locale at the intersection of Doheny Drive and Santa Monica. And just in case you're wondering what happened to the last assistant, the posters have this happily-ever-after story: "Our last live-in personal asst of 4yrs just got married to 1 of our millionaire friends a few months ago and now we need a great new girl to take her place."
Here's the post in its entirety:
We're a Young adult Entertainment couple looking 2 share our home with the right girl for an exchange - the perfect match could move in TODAY (: FREE RENT + $$$$$
Our last live-in personal asst of 4yrs just got married to 1 of our millionaire friends a few months ago and now we need a great new girl to take her place.
You must be willing to donate a minimum of 14 hours a week to helping with our homes & our businesses
A CAR IS NOT NEEDED
Some of your Duties: light house keeping, laundry, sensual massage, shopping, misc errands, lite cooking and helping with our businesses
Someone that's open to travel with a passport would be great -but 4 the right person if u can't it's not a deal breaker :)
We Prefer a non employed person, someone who is responsible and detail oriented that's also fun to be around
This is a great opportunity to earn, learn, travel & save money all at the same time
Please be OPEN-MINDED
WE HAVE A DRAMA FREE HOUSE - IN WALKING DISTANCE TO EVERYTHING - THE AMAZING RESTAURANTS, HOTTESTS CLUBS & BEST SHOPPING.
NO THIS AD IS NOT TO GOOD TO BE TRUE!!! (THE 14HRS A WEEK IS 4 FREE RENT ONLY- BUT OVER THE 14HRS THERE'S PAY)
We are EXTREMELY PICKY so tell us why U think we should pick you???? send your photo & contact info
The pair is "A VERY HOT DOMINANT COUPLE" that advertises themselves as the "Asian Goddess M & Master Enzo" who make a living offering "FREAKY FUN SENSUAL ADVENTURES," including but not limited to forced cuckholding, golden showers, sissification training, erotic electro stimulation and smothering. Their services will set you back $300/hour, and you'll love it: "YOU SLAVE! GET ON YOUR KNEES TO WORSHIP YOUR NEW MASTERS!"
So we're sure there is some unemployed, kinky, "open-minded" soul in Los Angeles who might be down for this sort of thing. But do these ads for what basically amounts to sex work belong in the housing section, taunting the cash-strapped beautiful young females with the too-good-to-be-true promise of rent-free living? Well, I guess it is Los Angeles.
Related:
Only in L.A.: Craigslist Post Seeks 'Space Cult Priestess' for 'Earth's Most Dynamic New Religion'
Who Wants to Party With Tina? Craigslist Ad for Crystal Meth Gets Seller Busted
Hipster Hater Writes Craigslist Missive To The 'Arty Girls' Of Echo Park
