It beats the heck out of waiting tables

The SAG awards start with a bunch of actors telling their stories to the camera.

8:04 Sandra Bullock, the first presenter, is wearing a cute dress. Too bad she spits out her lines like they're cedar chips. She introduces Crash, for best ensemble film.

8:05 Eva Longoria looks amazing, of course, except for her 50s-era hair tragedy. Patricia Arquette, on the other hand, has '30s era hair that works for her. Will she beat out much-taller Geena Davis or Mariska Harigtay for best acress in a TV drama? Nope, Sandra Oh, who has taken our advice and traded in her beige caftan for a fitted black and white dress, will take it. Kyra Sedgewick didn't have a shot. Sandra is also in the ponytail mafia. Sandra Oh shares her award will all the other Asian-American actors out there. I hope George Takei shows up at her house tomorrow morning for his turn.

8:09 Outstanding performance by a male actor in a drama: Alan Alda, Patrick Dempsey, Hugh Lurie, Ian McShayne, Kiefer Sutherland. Keifer takes it. "This is the community I wanted to belong to all my life," he says, as though he wasn't born into it. Ah well, he's not so bad — he's thanking the writers. Our favorite overlooked Kiefer movie was Flatliners: watch him, Julia Roberts, Kevin Bacon and even Hope Davis as doctors doing a death-revival thing for the kick. Sorry, off topic, but it was a commercial.

8:17 Terrence Howard. who looks fine in his tux. He introduces Hustle & Flow, also nominated for ensemble cast.

8:18: Barbara Bain and Peter Graves. Love love love! God, they both look fantastic. But they can't read the teleprompter. He's got their script tucked into a pocket, luckily. They announce ensmeble for dramatic series: The Closer, Grey's Anatomy, Lost, Six Feet Under, The West Wing. Does it hurt to have a #1 show? Nope. Lost takes it. We love that it's an enormous multiculti group of actors. "This is the saddest collection of slimy, scene grabbing schmoozers you've ever seen in your life," Terry O'Quinn jokes.

8:24 Chris Cooper looks good in his tux, too. He awards Rachel Wesiz her supporting actress in a film. Rachel Weisz is beautiful, but the dress, eh, not so much.

8:32 William Shatner is trucked out to talk about commercials, presumably because of Priceline. They get a bunch of commercial actors, including the Fruit of the Loom grape guy. No respect for these poor folks. And nobody loves the, especially not Tivo.

8:36 Outstanding female actor in a comedy series: Candice Bergen, Patricia Heaton, Felicity Huffman, Megan Mullally, Mary Louise Parker. 2006 is the year of Felicity Huffman. Wow, lavender is everywhere: we counted at least 5 purple dresses on her run to the stage, including on Marica Cross and Alfre Woodard. Let's hope they planned it. More to come, right after this break with the Fruit of the Loom guy.