Here We Go...The Red Carpet!

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KABC has wasted no time in getting the awkward questions, stammered remarks, and best wishes to everyone coming down the red carpet. So far we've already heard them refer to Ben Stiller as "studly", and Naomi Watt's very current gown as "vintage". It's almost too painful to watch, but you know we'll keep doing it.

Our highlight so far has been hearing Paul Giamatti say, in reponse to the interviewer asking if he'd ever done any real boxing, "Hell no, I'd get my ass kicked!" Paul Giamatti, we love ya.

Oh no...a look back at movies featuring monkeys. Please. Someone. Change the channel.

Can someone tell us why this is OSCAR COUNTDOWN 2006? The KABC graphics department has gone overboard tonight. It's bigger than a MUDSLIDE WATCH, a RAIN ALERT, a TRAFFIC SITUATION, or even a high-speed pursuit down the 405. It's Oscar night. Of course, worthy of a countdown and a very three dimensional CGI graphic.

On the plus side, we really like Jada Pinkett Smith.

"Grab your rosaries, boys!" in reference to Salma Hayek? Why? Ouch.

Awkward re-pairing of Sandra Bullock and Keanu Reeves. Did we really need to hear what they've been doing since "Speed"? Probably not. Although nice to know that Keanu attends bar mitzvahs.

Nice work reminding George Clooney that he used to be on "Facts of Life". Nothing like walking into the Oscars thinking about Mrs. Garrett. At least he'll be playing our official LAist drinking game.

Interviewer: "So Jennifer Aniston, tell us what it's like having two friends nominated in the Best Supporting Actress catergory?"

Jennifer: "Well, I think it must be..."

Interviewer: "That's great! So tell us about fashion."

Jennifer: "Well fashion today is more...."

Interviewer: "Fantastic! Thanks!"

Ryan Phillipe so far looks a lot more sober than he did at the Golden Globes. Let's see if he shouts out to Joaquin (if he wins), telling him to PAY UP, BUDDY!

The Country Music overload has already started happening. It's a Brokeback Oscar Evening, everyone. You Won't Be Able To Quit This. Someone really needs to patent that marketing slogan. "You Won't Be Able To Quit Eating The Fresh Taste of Smuckers!" ™

Interview to Jaeke Gyllenhaal: "Tell us one questions that no one has asked you yet." Or basically: "DO MY JOB FOR ME". Holy boneheaded questions, Batman. Congratulations to Jake for letting her know that pretty much everything has been asked, although he is a bit tired of the kissing question. Apparently, he kisses a man in this movie. Shocking, just plain shocking. Has this woman been living under a rock?

Our first "I wish I knew how to quit ya!" from one of the interviewers. We knew this was coming, so soon? Ouch. Ouch. Ouch.

Interviewer: "I'm here with Sid Ganis, President of the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences...Sid, can you give us a prediction about tonight?"

Sid Ganis: "It's going to be a great show." Gripping, just gripping. Such insight and acument!

Red Carpet recaps from our interviewers:

Apparently, Jessica Alba looks like an Oscar, since she's wearing gold.

Sandra Bullock's dress had pockets.

Keira Knightley had french toast and maple syrup this morning.

Apparently the crowd "gasped" when Felicity Huffman stepped out of the limo.

Those are the big tidbits, folks.

Eric Bana wants to see blood spilled. YES! Now THAT would be an Oscar show worth watching. Watch for the Oscars on Fox next year: "SURVIVOR: OSCAR RACE 2007". If someone had to eat infected pus for a trophy, come on, everyone would watch that.

Stay tuned for more from LAist.