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It's that time of the year that everyone in the South has waited for: the LSU-Alabama rematch. People down in Baton Rouge are so happy, they have planned to brush their tooth Saturday morning to commerate the occasion.
LSU took the regular season edition of this game in Tuscaloosa last year by a whopping score of 9-6. That was SEC football in all of its glory, about as progressive as Paul Ryan's pubic hair with all scoring coming by way of a field goal. Thrilling, ain't it?
The rematch in the BCS Championship Game was even less thrilling, a 21-0 Alabama victory that featured only one touchdown.
So even with all of that in the background, people still have an erection over this game ready to spill their seed over three or four hours of listening to Verne Lundquist and Gary Danielson recite redneck versions of William Shakespeare in lieu of any action being played on the field.
And you wonder why former LSU players have to smoke tons of marijuana just to get the awful stink of their offense out of their consciousness.
I'll admit there is a small amount of intrigue in this game. The top-ranked Alabama is 8-0 while LSU is ranked fifth with a 7-1 record. LSU has a chance to dethrone the annointed ones.
Here's the problem. After Kansas State, Notre Dame and Oregon in the BCS rankings lie LSU, Georgia, Florida and South Carolina. At worst, if Alabama loses they still are in line to play in the BCS Championship Game. At best, another SEC team (a.k.a. offensively deficient team) will take its place perpetuating this cycle of awarding offensive incompetence. It's the SEC hydra, and it just won't fucking die.
Here's the television schedule for Saturday:
Oklahoma at Iowa State. 9:00 a.m. ABC.
Tulsa at Arkansas. 9:00 a.m. KDOC.
Vanderbilt at Kentucky. 9:00 a.m. ESPNU.
Texas A&M at Mississippi State. 9:00 a.m. ESPN.
Missouri at Florida. 9:00 a.m. ESPN2.
Houston at East Carolina. 9:00 a.m. FSWest.
Troy at Tennessee. 9:00 a.m. Prime Ticket.
Tennessee State at Murray State. 9:00 a.m. Fox College Sports.
Air Force at Army. 9:00 a.m. CBS Sports Net.
Towson at Delaware. 9:00 a.m. NBC Sports Net.
Stanford at Colorado. 11:00 a.m. FX.
TCU at West Virginia. Noon Fox.
Washington State at Utah. Noon Pac-12 Net.
Mississippi at Georgia. 12:30 p.m. CBS.
Pittsburgh at Notre Dame. 12:30 p.m. NBC.
Nebraska at Michigan State. 12:30 p.m. ABC.
Penn State at Purdue. 12:30 p.m. ESPNU.
Illinois at Ohio State. 12:30 p.m. ESPN.
Texas at Texas Tech. 12:30 p.m. ESPN2.
Kansas at Baylor. 12:30 p.m. FSWest.
Boston College at Wake Forest. 12:30 p.m. Prime Ticket.
Duquesne at Robert Morris. 12:30 p.m. Fox College Sports.
Florida Atlantic at Navy. 12:30 p.m. CBS Sports Net.
New Mexico at UNLV. 1:00 p.m. TWC SportsNet.
Oregon at USC. 4:00 p.m. Fox.
Hawaii at Fresno State. 4:00 p.m. TWC SportsNet.
Connecticut at South Florida. 4:00 p.m. ESPNU.
Clemson at Duke. 4:00 p.m. ESPN2.
SMU at Central Florida. 4:00 p.m. CBS Sports Net.
Alabama at LSU. 5:00 p.m. CBS.
Oklahoma State at Kansas State. 5:15 p.m. ABC.
Arizona at UCLA. 7:30 p.m. Pac-12 Net.
Arizona State at Oregon State. 7:30 p.m. ESPN2.
San Diego State at Boise State. 7:30 p.m. CBS Sports Net.
