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Breaking: 'Keeping Up With The Kardashians' Is Scripted

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Folks, get ready to have the very foundation of your world rocked. When you're sitting there in your living room, watching what you believe to be true events unfold on "Keeping Up With The Kardashians," what you're actually watching is little more than a sitcom, because—wait for it—the show is scripted.

This devastating truth bomb was dropped by Radar Online this morning, who reported that writers for "Keeping Up" regularly scan the tabloids to find out what stories about the family are doing well, then incorporate those stories into the show. For instance:

Using reports from last year that Kardashian matriarch Kris Jenner and her hubby Bruce were having marital problems, the season premiere of Keeping Up With The Kardashians kicked off with a storyline focusing on the “mutual” idea of Bruce moving out of the family home so he could have his own space. That’s just one example of the show creating scripts out of family secrets that were first revealed by news outlets.

We're shocked and hurt as well.

And that's not the only story that was trumped up for ratings. Radar goes on:

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In early 2012 a report surfaced in a weekly magazine claiming the Kardashian’s father, Robert Kardashian, had confessed to his wife just before his passing in 2003 that daughter Khloe was not his biological child... Well, fast forward five months and previews of that season of Keeping Up With The Kardashians touted a DNA test on an upcoming episode — a DNA test that never happened.

So there you have it. Of course, this year will be a big year for the show, what with Kim being preggo with Kanye's child and all. We already know that a major plotline will be that the kid might not have a "K" name. And maybe we'll get to see the pregnant Kim Kardashian sculpture at some point this season. Here's hoping.