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Ducks Open Season in Jolly Old England, for reasons unapparent

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Hello Ducks fans, I'm back to regale you all with my take on the greatest game on earth. When I signed off last time (seemingly for good) the Anaheim Ducks of Los Angeles Anaheim were the glorious winners of Lord Stanley's silver chalice.

Fast forward.

A lot has changed. Out with Dustin Penner, in with convicted criminal Todd Bertuzzi. Possibly out with Scott Niedermayer, in with Mathieu Schneider. Hopefully out with Teemu Selanne and his ugly ass helmet, thank the heavens.

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Oh, and there's this minor thing about opening the season in, wait for it, London. No, not that sleepy town in Southern Ontario. Nor that bustling hub in Pope County, Arkansas. London as in England. I thought when you won the Stanley Cup you were showered with gold, livestock and women? Instead, the NHL apparently likes to ship you to the hockey equivalent of Siberia. Who cares about hockey in England? I ask you, NHL commisioner Gary Bettman, what's next? Putting a franchise in Nashville?!?!