Support for LAist comes from
We Explain L.A.
Stay Connected

Share This

This is an archival story that predates current editorial management.

This archival content was written, edited, and published prior to LAist's acquisition by its current owner, Southern California Public Radio ("SCPR"). Content, such as language choice and subject matter, in archival articles therefore may not align with SCPR's current editorial standards. To learn more about those standards and why we make this distinction, please click here.

News

Donald Trump Buys Lakers

Before you read more...
Dear reader, we're asking you to help us keep local news available for all. Your tax-deductible financial support keeps our stories free to read, instead of hidden behind paywalls. We believe when reliable local reporting is widely available, the entire community benefits. Thank you for investing in your neighborhood.

5b2bc07c4488b30009269c39-original.jpg

In a shocking move, Jerry Buss has sold the Los Angeles Lakers franchise to famed New York real estate tycoon Donald Trump, setting off a chain reaction of events within the organization.

It had long been assumed Buss would leave the team to his children. However, he almost lost the Lakers to Phil Hellmuth in a late night, big money pot recently at the Mirage, but got bailed out with an inside straight on the river. After that experience, Buss said he had an epiphany and decided to give up his life of fine restaurants, jet planes, gambling and dating women in their 20s. He is moving to a Tibetan monastery and giving up all material things.

At the press conference announcing his takeover, Trump called General Manager Mitch Kupchak into the room and yelled “You’re fired!” Kupchak seemed shocked and, in an interview in the town car that took him to the airport, alternated between complaining that it was the other members of the front office let him down and saying he was just thankful for the chance Mr. Trump gave him.

Support for LAist comes from

Kupchak’s replacement will be chosen on the next season of “The Apprentice.“

In the interim, all Laker player/personnel moves will be decided by a Magic 8 Ball. Trump said that should make Laker fans happy, as the moves will still make more sense than what has gone on in recent years.

When reached for a comment, Coach Phil Jackson took the news of the change with a Zen-like calmness, saying that change was a part of life he was the reed bending with the new direction of the river. He then asked if Trump had any daughters.

Kobe saidthe move would not affect him on the court.

"'Trump can Love me or hate me, it's one or the other. Always has been. He can hate my game, my swagger. Hate that big, fat max contract I signed and now he has to pay. And he can hate that I'm loved, for the exact same reasons."

AP photo by Jeff Chiu