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Desperately in Need of a Pick Up

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So a guy goes to a bar with a bunch of his buddies. Let’s call him Elton. He hasn’t historically had a lot of success with the ladies, but the last time he visited this bar, things worked out really well for him.

He and his buddies have been making the rounds, working the room and evaluating the talent. Some of his buddies, like Tim, Steve, and Tracy, are getting play almost immediately. Meanwhile, Elton was a little off his game at the beginning, but he’s recovered nicely. In particular, one very attractive woman has really been digging him, laughing at his jokes and giving him the look.

There’s another guy, Baron, who’s been eyeing the same girl that Elton is feeling. But she’s not feeling Baron like she feels Elton. All Elton needs to do to close the deal is buy her one more drink and take her out on to the dance floor.

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As Elton waits for the bartender to order another round, he starts talking up the fact that he lives at home with his mom. The woman is thrown off by this and starts turning her attention back to Baron, who’s ready to move in and capitalize on Elton’s blunder. Elton realizes his mistake, but now sees his only chance to win the woman back is for one of his boys, Dirk, who’s already set for the night, to go over and cock-block Baron.

Elton Brand and the Clippers were in prime position to make a return trip to the playoffs. After their huge comeback win against the Lakers last Thursday and easy win over the Blazers on Friday, the Clippers had a simple task to accomplish their season-long goal. Just win three straight games against unmotivated opponents: a last-place Sacramento team who had lost seven out of nine; a Phoenix team likely to be resting its starters with the second seed locked up; and a NO/OKC team that had just been eliminated from contention. Buy the drink and ask the girl for a dance.