Support for LAist comes from
We Explain L.A.
Stay Connected

Share This

This is an archival story that predates current editorial management.

This archival content was written, edited, and published prior to LAist's acquisition by its current owner, Southern California Public Radio ("SCPR"). Content, such as language choice and subject matter, in archival articles therefore may not align with SCPR's current editorial standards. To learn more about those standards and why we make this distinction, please click here.


Criminal Crullers Cops

Stories like these are only possible with your help!
You have the power to keep local news strong for the coming months. Your financial support today keeps our reporters ready to meet the needs of our city. Thank you for investing in your community.

There are stupid criminals and there are sneaky ones who love doughnuts.

According to NBC4, our ever-faithful eye in the proverbial news-every-minute sky, a SWAT team "that went into a building Monday where a man who robbed a doughnut shop supposedly was hiding" found no one. Not even the crumbs of a once eaten bear-claw.

The suspect, unknown to the major media news outlets, but known to LAist by our own pet name we've given him, "The Doughnut Defiler," had apparently robbed a local doughnut shop then retreated to a nearby building until the heat subsided. It was, as far as we're concered, a very slick, very intelligent way to go.

Support for LAist comes from

Most stupid criminals in the same situation might have stolen the money, then sat on the front step of the establishment stuffing jelly doughnuts into their mouths. Others might have stolen the money, tripped on their way out, and left their wallet behind for the police to discover. But not The Doughnut Defiler -- a smart criminal so intelligent that local news media has seen fit to embarass the L.A. Police Department's SWAT team by pointing out for all to see that, yes, they let the Doughnut Defiler slip through their not-so-sticky fingers... Talk about the local media supporting our law enforcement team by printing their embarassing losses in the field!!

Score: Doughnut Defiler - 1 / L.A. SWAT Team - 0

LAist will keep you up to date on this matter in the event that L.A.'s smartest criminal mind decides to make a habit of such meanderings.