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Breaking News - Hipster Olympics Results Are In!

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An epic battle of apathetic grandeur.

Outside of carrot cake, scruffy beards and driving home from work in record setting time, there is nothing I like more than spoofs on hipsters. Granted, actually liking something like this bears a certain amount of hipsterness, which I mean, whatever man. I don't care. In watching this video, I have identified my five favorite quotes. It was hard to choose.

"Exclusivity, that's what it's all about today."

"She's known to spread her legs for any guy with a fauxhawk and an eating disorder."

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"He didn't get 3,000 friends by being reckless."

"I haven't seen performances like this since last year's douche-bag summer games out in sunny Santa Monica California."

"Empanadas are the new cupcakes." Followed by, "Global warming is the new empanadas."