Support for LAist comes from
We Explain L.A.
Stay Connected

Share This

This is an archival story that predates current editorial management.

This archival content was written, edited, and published prior to LAist's acquisition by its current owner, Southern California Public Radio ("SCPR"). Content, such as language choice and subject matter, in archival articles therefore may not align with SCPR's current editorial standards. To learn more about those standards and why we make this distinction, please click here.

News

Bored With LA

Stories like these are only possible with your help!
You have the power to keep local news strong for the coming months. Your financial support today keeps our reporters ready to meet the needs of our city. Thank you for investing in your community.
5b2c02424488b3000926e156-original.bmp

Mark Ganek, a transplant from Illinois, is a playwright in LA and writes a column called "The Cultured Savage" on Orkut.He's overcome his boredom with LAlong enough to develop "The Los Angeles Universal Conversation Generator (patent pending):"

Person 1: So, I like went to [shopping establishment] to find [trendy item]. But when I got there, they were totally out. So instead I got this [comically ugly trendier item]. Don't you love it? Person 2: Oh my God, I saw [vapid C-list celebrity] wearing that at the [Generic Award Ceremony/Celebrity Circle-Jerk].

Person 1: Did you hear that she [comment indicating I have no personality and simply repeat what I hear on E! instead.]

Person 2: I know, and then [likewise].

Person 1: Yeah, I totally think that [comment indicating my brain contains only a rusty hamster wheel, but due to cost-cutting measures, the hamster has been replaced by a picture of a hamster.]

Person 2: Yeah. [Silence indicating I have forgotten what we were talking about because I was distracted by a reflection of myself in a mirror.] Totally.

Bystander: I'm going to shoot myself in the face.