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BEAT SC: How UCLA Fans Cope with Rivalry Weak

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Didn't mommy tell you to stop playing with those bears? They're bound to hurt you sometime soon.

Tommy Trojan, you stupid bastard. You don't even know what's coming, do you?

UCLA M. Football has been gearing up for the game of the season, the age-old cross-town rivalry of epic proportions. USC and UCLA will go to battle this Saturday at 1:30pm at the Rose Bowl. This year will hopefully be more interesting than the last since USC is sans Reggie Bush and Matt Leinart - and gee willy, for the first time in 3 seasons they lack an undefeated record (gasp!).

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It's been about, oh, 8 years since UCLA has actually beat USC in a game of pigskin. As they say in baseball, we're due for a win. And yes, I know, this isn't baseball - but who really gives a shit except for obnoxious Trojan fan boys (by the way we can whup SC in baseball any day, not to mention basketball).

If you aren't sure how to cope with all of the hysteria, here are a couple Beat SC events you should be aware of:

Thursday, 12pm-1pm - Beat SC Parade, Bonfire and Rally at the Wilson Plaza
Friday, 7:30pm - UCLA Men's Hockey vs Tommy's Trojans at the Anaheim Pond

Tonight as well as Friday night: stand guard for the Bruin Bear all night long in the quad. Bring your sleeping bags and hot chocolate. Students will protect our precious Joe Bruin nightly from malicious Trojan pranksters from 10pm to 7am.

Artist's Sketch by Henry David for