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A Quick Guide to L.A. Dog Park Etiquette

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One of the great benefits of Los Angeles weather to man and beast is the year round use of Dog parks. As a playground for hounds and a social gathering hot spot for owners, dog parks provide an enjoyable, mostly incident free outing at any given time of day. The odds are there is one near you that hopefully is not being tested for radiation like the one in Brentwood.

However like any community there are occasional problems and repeat offenders who screw up or "Rumsfeld" it for everyone (I hope that catches on so I can make the T-Shirts). As a frequent dog walker of my best friends Lab Tiki and her smallish German Shepherd mix Sven Hoek, I have witnessed my share of mishaps, usually involving Sven.

I should point out here before I go on that Sven is not your average Dog. Oh, how I wish he were. According to people in the know Sven is a male Dog that gives off an unusually strong scent that other male dogs confusedly respond to in a most sexually frenzied manner. When he’s shaved which he is a good deal of the year, the problem stops, but in the winter, well that’s another story.

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Wholly Sven can have the effect of turning a normally pastoral stroll in the park into a disco throbbing mid 70’s bathhouse orgy minus the breath mints. The one amusing aspect however is watching pumped up muscle guys look on with dismay and confusion, as their equally buffed up male dogs make the not so subtle moves on Sven. Looks of bewilderment and reassessment about which side of the bowl their hounds walk on usually follows. It’s all good Günter, Fido is just exploring and I’m sure he will still spot you in your home gym later on as usual.