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A Different Stroke

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It was announced today that Dick Clark, legendary host and pioneer of "American Bandstand" and a bunch of other shows you probably could care less about, suffered a stroke earlier this week and was recovering in a Los Angeles hospital.

Doctors say that Clark should be back "in the swing of things" and healthy enough to use his unique magic to make a huge ball of light fall to the ground in New York City's Time Square this New Year's Eve.

Clark, who many believe is actually a robot due to the fact that he appears fairly young and was, miraculousy, born in 1755 -- has his sights set on the New Year with a variety of music-related and reality-based programs hitting the airwaves on a variety of Network TV channels.

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LAist can only give three "hip-hip horrays" in knowing that Mr. Clark is doing A-OK and should be back on his feet faster than you can say, "eye-lift, chin implant and tummy tuck."