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Jack Nicholson Wins Best Villain, Gay-Hard Butler Wins Best Fight

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5:30 - I can hear the press people and the MTV handlers trying to corral Jack Nicholson in the next tent over, which apparently isn't easy to do. We here in the Blogghetto have been promised by MTV that they will try to get as many celebs as possible in here. You know you're low on the totem pole when even Shia LaBeouf is too big to talk to you.

5:26 - Dane Cook comes out to introduce the nominees for Best Homemade Spoof or whatever the category is. He says some of the nominees were so funny they made him want to punch himself in the balls. However, he does not recommend doing this. I do. Especially if you're Dane Cook. In all fairness, Dane Cook at least comments on how wasted Jack Nicholson appeared.

5:24 - Gerard Butler wins Best Fight for his ab-tastic work in 300. The correct pronunciation of his name if Gay-hard. And that's not a reference to the homoeroticism of 300. Really. His speech is incomprehensible to me.

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--Somewhere in here Jessica Biel and Sarah Silverman almost share a lesbian kiss [which you can see a photo of after the jump] --

5:11 - Sounding like he has a voicebox made of sandpaper, Jack Nicholson begins his acceptance speech with, "I don't give a fuck!" He thanks the troops, says "fuck" some more and exits.

5:10 - The cast of Fantastic Four -- that's another movie being heavily promoted at tonight's awards -- announces the winner of Best Villain: Jack Nicholson. He beats...
Tobin Bell - Saw III
Bill Nighy - Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest
Rodrigo Santoro - 300
Meryl Streep - The Devil Wears Prada

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Sarah Silverman and Jessica Biel get my vote for Best Kiss.