Lindsay William-Ross

Two furtive office tug-off sessions have wound up not only costing a Fullterton man some jail time, but now Michael Kevin Lallana, the 32-year-old convicted of secretly spurting his semen in a co-worker's water bottle, has been ordered to pay over $27,000 in restitution for his crime, according to the OC Register.

From the folks who brought you the marvel that was Carmageddon comes The Rampture--no, it's not a traffic-inspired disaster movie, but rather a nickname bestowed upon the several days of closures the eight Wilshire Boulevard on and off ramps to the 405 Freeway will undergo at various times in November.

Clearly, Hollywood has run out of ideas, and is totally in love with dancing. Case in point: a remake of Footloose is about to hit theatres, and now the movie that launched a thousand hips, Dirty Dancing, is getting closer to its reboot, with its original choreographer Kenny Ortega serving as director, reports Deadline Hollywood.

Score another one for modern technology and crime solving: The Los Angeles Police Department have announced an arrest made for a "cold case" murder that took place on L.A.'s Westside in 1978. Detectives in Delaware, Ohio, took 62-year-old Walter Randolph Peartree into custody at his home earlier this morning on a warrant obtained by the LAPD.

Okay, so they are about a month behind their original estimate, but now we have a date and some contact info to share with you: Canoe and kayak trips on the Los Angeles River will run weekends from August 13th to September 25th, and reservations will be open soon.

We wish we could offer you 44 lines about 88-cent burgers, but there isn't much to say here. If you like cheap burgers sold for cheaper than usual, you may want to hie thee to your nearest (participating) Burger King, where their Whoppers are a mere 88 cents today from 8 a.m. to 8 p.m. on this August 8th.

In today's Extra, Extra we've got schools in for the summer, a switchblade-hiding jacket, a giant chicken made of traffic cones, and more news bites of the day. Plus: Keep up with us on Facebook, and follow us on Twitter: @LAist @LAistFood @LAistSports.

Billboards can help bring authorities info and leads about suspects like the serial killer known as the Grim Sleeper, or the Bryan Stow beating perps, and now a new webservice is available to help people with a cause find crowd-sourced funding to get their message out.

Images of Los Angeles can sometimes so evocatively capture what it is like to really be--and see--here. A new gallery show, "I Love L.A." will put on display the work of 42 photographers whose images represent their love for L.A. and the opening reception is open to the public next Thursday night.

An 18-year-old man was arrested this weekend in La Cañada after he was found passed out in a parked car, holding on to a cylinder of nitrous oxide, reports La Cañada-Flintridge Patch. Phillip Augustin Gandara admitted he had been huffing--inhaling the toxic substance--and had passed out.

As part of an audit being conducted by City Controller Wendy Greuel, about 120 weapons were confiscated from six City-run animal shelters yesterday. Although animal control officers are issued firearms, there is a concern that the weapons have not been properly inventoried, and some guns may have gone missing.

If you have large ears and rob banks, it's only fitting your FBI nickname will be the "All Ears Bandit." However, today the Bureau is announcing the arrest of a man they believe is the large-eared perp. 25-year-old Stepan Dovlatyan was taken into custody at his home in Los Angeles on August 1st.