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You Must Be Able to Walk the Stairs to Rock the Vote

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Crazy super Tuesday. So excited. I showed up at my polling place, Emerson Junior High School around 10am today. No crowds, I took the day off of work and took my time getting over there. I went inside to find 5 voting officials with a cumulative age of 496 yakking to each other and paying absolutely no attention to me, the ballots, or the voting booths. There was a middle aged woman there in a wooly hat, a face mask and dark sunglasses who was livid that her polling place had been changed. She kept insisting that she vote the junior high school, even though her name wasn't on the list and her sample ballot had a different address for a polling place. Numerous arguments such as "I live right up the street!" and "I've voted here for 12 years!" were not swaying the voting officials. In the midst of her screeching whining chaos, no one was paying any attention to little ol' me. Some woman who had clearly lost her hearing about 26 years ago handed me a ballot without checking that I'd signed in or registered. Great. I could be a terrorist.

While I was voting, a man came into the polling area. He informed the officials that there was a woman waiting at the bottom of the steps in a wheelchair and she was registered to vote here. They stared at him blankly. He asked if they had handicapped access. They said no. The rest of the conversation went like this.

Concerned Man: How is this woman supposed to vote if she can't get up the stairs?

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Antediluvian Woman: Oh, we don't have handicapped access here.

Now More Concerned Man: Well she's down there in a wheelchair and she's getting back into the car now because she can't get up the stairs.

Fossil Lady: Oh yes, I've worked this polling place for 12 years and we've always had this problem.

Old Goat Man chimes in: How about we bring the polling booth down to her?
(Starts gathering up ballot, ink pen, and 6 foot tall cardboard polling booth, fumbling around because his gait is constrained by his Depends.)

Concerned Man: I think she's left by now. She was getting back into the car.

Ancient Wrinkled Woman: Well she should have told us she needed help.

Old Goat: Yeah! She should have told us!

Concerned Man: Ummmm, how could she tell you, she's STUCK AT THE BOTTOM OF THE STAIRS IN A WHEELCHAIR.

Antediluvian Woman: Yeah if she told us, we could have brought the booth down to her.

Concerned Man: Don't you get it? She couldn't tell you because she couldn't get up the stairs!

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Fossil Lady: Oh yes, I've worked this polling place for 12 years and we've always had this problem.

Concerned Man shakes his head.

Old Goat: Is she down there? I'll bring the polling booth down the stairs!

Concerned Man: I told you. She left. She couldn't get up the stairs to ask you for help.

Fossil Lady: Oh yes, I've worked this polling place for 12 years and we've always had this problem.

Antediluvian Woman: And I'm just a volunteer!

Photo by Malingering, who felt sure photographing such a debacle inside the polling area was illegal so she opted for the outside

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