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This archival content was written, edited, and published prior to LAist's acquisition by its current owner, Southern California Public Radio ("SCPR"). Content, such as language choice and subject matter, in archival articles therefore may not align with SCPR's current editorial standards. To learn more about those standards and why we make this distinction, please click here.

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Sweet MySpace Page, Kelvim Escobar

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Things havent gone well for Angels starting pitcher Kelvim Escobar.

Not only has he lost his last five games in a row going into tonight's game against the Royals, not only is he currently on the mound and losing 1-0 in the 3rd, but LAist just found his MySpace page.

Allegedly.

Right away the 6'1" Aries causes doubt in our minds as he claims to be a 6'3" Virgo on his MySpace profile. It almost makes one believe that we shouldn't trust him when he declares that "PIMPIN AIN'T EASY". We've heard it's a cakewalk.

The 30 year-old #3 man for the Halos has a career record of 77-76 in his ten years as a pro, and what does the modest Venezuelan say about himself in the About Me section? "the best gu y in the world". Best? He has the lowest ERA of any Angel starter (3.72) not named Jered Weaver (1.37) -- but is that really a lot to brag about?

Incredibly selective, our man only has 23 friends other than Tom, and for some reason Kelvim only has six friends in his "friend space". After Tom, the remaining five friends are smoking-hot babes.

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It's funny, lots of people have smoking-hot babes in their Top 8, but this might be one of those few times where the dude actually has a shot at one of those babes.

Inside his Pictures section lies something amazing. Despite the fact that Escobar is getting paid millions of dollars to hurl for the Angels, he can't seem to be able to find a camera that will avoid red-eye. He does dress smooth though. But what's he so pissed off about?

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