Mergermania 2006! Ready! Set! Moonves!

We're going to put on our Andy Rooney hat for a minute. Please bear with us.

So- Pixar and Disney are merging. So- The WB and the UPN are merging. To the first, we congratulate you. Just months ago Pixar and Disney, you were on the verge of splitting up forever and now, look at you two peas in a pod! We couldn't be happier. With Steve Jobs on the board of Disney and Pixar safely turning out our generation's best animation at the definitive home of American animation, both companies are likely to prosper. We're excited to see Pixar infect Disney's lackluster corporate culture. With your hands in both animation and theme park development, we're hoping to see you two have a long and prosperous relationship.

Now, UPN and the WB, let me just ask you, "What were you thinking?" Les Moonves, I can't blame you for wanting to get rid of your competitor and be the only web on the block owning 1 1/2 network channels, but let's get real: The CW? Not only are you laying off people in Burbank and giving trashy teen comedy producers everywhere a heart attack, the venture will fail. The very fact that neither the WB or the UPN were willing to give up their name is a bad sign. You're telling us that now that we've finally become used to the Frog and those ridiculous circles, triangles and squares, we now have to be indoctrinated into a whole new wave of network corporate brandng? We're just getting used to the new Daily Show set and certaintly don't have time to learn your new mascot, sorry.

Good luck with finding that mascot, by the way. Our suggestion: a frog and a giant eyeball duking it out until they both collapse from exhaustion. It would be both memorable and apt.