LA Is Too Hot (Hot Damn), Make A Dragon Wanna Retire Man

Summer in L.A. always begins like a dream. The clouds retire for the season, and the sunlight casts a golden halo over the land.
Then comes the first hellish, burning inferno, when every second spent outside or without air conditioning means another breath of hot air and anguish upon our souls.
I regret to inform you, dear Angeleno, that time has come, and it is this weekend.
The National Weather Service predicts the first heat wave of the summer will last until Monday, and is forecasting temperatures to soar into the triple digits in the valleys, lower mountains and Antelope Valley.
Residents of the San Fernando, Santa Clarita and San Gabriel valleys received a heat advisory to protect against heat illnesses this morning. The warning is expected to remain in place until Sunday night for the valleys and Monday night for parts of the Inland Empire.
RELATED: Heat Hacks: How To Stay Cool Without Air Conditioning
Alas, this weekend's apprehensions don't end with heat. The South Coast Air Quality Management District has also issued an ozone advisory, a fancy way of saying that the air out there will be very unhealthy for you from now until next Tuesday morning.
OZONE ADVISORY: (in effect through the morning of Tuesday, July 16th)
— South Coast AQMD (@SouthCoastAQMD) July 12, 2019
High temperatures are expected to persist over the next several days increasing the likelihood of Unhealthy to Very Unhealthy air quality: https://t.co/Y158Op74tv pic.twitter.com/JzmZb8SU1B
Thankfully, Eric Boldt, a meteorologist at NWS Los Angeles, assured us that this is normal. We have heat waves like this every summer, and we are not expecting any record-breaking temperatures this weekend, he said.
Boldt added that L.A. should begin to cool off next week, with another small heat wave the week of July 24.
Nevertheless, the NWS has provided some tips to combat and guard against the ungodly force that is Southern California weather:
Are you ready to feel the heat? An extended heat wave is expected Thu through Mon as high pressure builds over the region. Temps will peak on Sat, soaring into the 90s and even into the low 100s for the hottest valleys! Stay hydrated! #SoCal #CAwx #LAheat pic.twitter.com/LOPWVx3Dpa
— NWS Los Angeles (@NWSLosAngeles) July 11, 2019
Heat Advisory is in effect through Sunday due to an extended period of very warm temperatures across #LA valleys, mountains, and interior valleys of #SLO & #SBA Counties!! Here is some heat safety information!! #SoCal #CAwx #LAheat pic.twitter.com/4Th4tHa7Ev
— NWS Los Angeles (@NWSLosAngeles) July 12, 2019
If you do, however, find yourself succumbing to the heat's vicious wrath, here's what to do in the event of heat exhaustion or heat stroke, because it's no longer cool to be hot:
Temperatures will warm up through the week and will peak Friday and Saturday, with some interior areas reaching the upper 90s and even low 100s!! Here area some safety tips to prevent heat exhaustion/ heat strokes!! #SoCal #CAwx #LAheat #LAweather pic.twitter.com/zE1EddEwcT
— NWS Los Angeles (@NWSLosAngeles) July 10, 2019
UPDATES:
4:56 p.m.: This article was updated with an interview with a National Weather Service meteorologist.
This article was originally published at 12:39 p.m.