Support for LAist comes from
We Explain L.A.
Stay Connected

Share This

This is an archival story that predates current editorial management.

This archival content was written, edited, and published prior to LAist's acquisition by its current owner, Southern California Public Radio ("SCPR"). Content, such as language choice and subject matter, in archival articles therefore may not align with SCPR's current editorial standards. To learn more about those standards and why we make this distinction, please click here.


Living in Sin: Clue - The Home Game

Before you
Dear reader, we're asking you to help us keep local news available for all. Your tax-deductible financial support keeps our stories free to read, instead of hidden behind paywalls. We believe when reliable local reporting is widely available, the entire community benefits. Thank you for investing in your neighborhood.

Jen Sincero is a musician, sexpert, and the author of the bestselling book, The Straight Girl’s Guide To Sleeping With Chicks and the semi-autobiographical novel, Don’t Sleep With Your Drummer. She currently hosts a weekly sex talk radio show called Dr. Happypants on

Living in Sin is her weekly advice column for LA's sexually curious, confused and constipated. Got a question for Jen? Ask her. We promise to be discreet (all questions will be posted anonymously).

Dear Jen,
I'm a 30 year old guy and I met this girl about 2 ½ years ago that is now one of my best friends. I've always been sexually attracted to her and would like to see if things could go further between us. We kissed once about a year ago, which led to a talk where she said she didn't want to ruin our friendship. I'm not sure if it's bullshit or not, either way, I'm in the friend zone.

Support for LAist comes from

I've never really had a close girl FRIEND before, and definitely not one that I haven't screwed around with. How can I go about seeing if this could work without compromising our friendship? Are there clues I can look for to see if she has some romantic interest in me?

Let's see, are there any clues? What about:

Clue #1: She told you she wasn't into it.

Clue #2: You're in the friend zone.

Clue #3: She's not sitting naked in your lap as you read this.

When someone wants to jump your bones, especially someone you hang out with all the time, the air gets so thick you could stuff a mattress with it. Therefore, if your friend does indeed want your meat, she knows all she has to do is reach out and grab it. Which she hasn't done.

Clue #4.

But do not despair. Considering your difficultly befriending women without throwing it in them, I think this could be a positive experience for you. Being FRIENDS with the opposite sex is a very rewarding and educational experience, even if it doesn't necessarily involve having an orgasm. In your case, you could learn about the very different way the female mind works, get an honest, trusted, female point of view on things like dating and facial hair, and sometimes even catch a glimpse down her shirt when she bends over to pick her purse up of the floor.

You have all the clues you need, you just need to decide if it'll be too painful to hang around and watch her date other guys. If you can put your feelings aside, you may be pleasantly surprised at what great friends men and women can make. Especially men and women who've stuck by each other for 2 ½ years.

Got a question for Jen? Ask her.

Previous Sins.