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Single Mother Raises Three Special Needs Sons
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Cathy Harvey and her three sons enjoy a sunny afternoon at the park. From left to right: Dylan, 11; Daniel, 15; and Dakota, 9. Dylan has high-functioning autism. Daniel was born with spastic cerebral palsy. Dakota has autism and attention deficit disorder. Dylan and Dakota share the genetic disorder, Noonan's syndrome.
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Patricia Nazario/KPCC
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Single mother Cathy Harvey is raising three boys with cerebral palsy, autism, and Attention Deficit Disorder. In the first of a three-part series on L.A.'s special needs children, KPCC's Patricia Nazario spends a typical morning with this non-typical family.
[Boys snoring]
Patricia Nazario: Before the sun comes up, Cathy Harvey begins her daily routine. She leans over her oldest son, Daniel, to wake him up. His head's resting on a Spider-Man pillow and he's curled up in the fetal position.
Cathy Harvey: Daniel? (Cathy kisses Daniel)
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Nazario: Cathy carries him across the short hall to her bedroom.
Cathy Harvey: OK. Here we go.
Nazario: She's already made the bed and spread out a blue bath towel.
Cathy Harvey: Good morning, sleepyhead.
Nazario: She runs water through his feeding tube.
Cathy Harvey: This might be a little cold. Clean out your tube, ok? From your night feeding.
Nazario: A few minutes later, she gives him his medication.
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Cathy Harvey: Prevacet's for digestion. Robinal's so he doesn't drool on his shirt all day.
Nazario: Cathy has to change his diaper and get him dressed for school.
[Daniel crying and moaning]
Nazario: Daniel is 15-years-old. He has spastic cerebral palsy. He was seven months old the first time she heard those words come out of a doctor's mouth.
Cathy Harvey: What's that? What can I do to fix it? Well they come to you and say there's nothing you can do to fix it. This is something you've got to live with.
Nazario: By now, the 41-year-old single mom has embraced it. And like a point guard on the court, she ricochets between the bedroom where she tends to Daniel...
Cathy Harvey: (Daniel crying) What's the matter?
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Nazario: ... and the kitchen, where she prepares bacon, eggs, and toast for her other two sons.
Cathy Harvey: Dylan?
Nazario: Dylan's 11. He has high-functioning autism.
Cathy Harvey: Dakota? It's time to get up, honey?
Nazario: Dakota's 9. He also has autism and Attention Deficit Disorder.
Cathy Harvey: Rise and shine sleepyhead.
Nazario: Both boys have something else: the genetic condition, Noonan's Syndrome.
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Cathy Harvey: My kids know that they're different.
Nazario: Cathy doesn't pity her kids. She pushes them.
Cathy Harvey: Dakota, what does flawless mean?
Nazario: She lays a pop quiz on her youngest, Dakota, as he eats.
Cathy Harvey: What about "plead?"
Nazario: And he answers between bites.
Dakota Harvey: Plead means to beg.
Cathy Harvey: Perfect! You got them all right!
Nazario: Dakota's still wearing his Speed Racer pajamas. His mom's wearing jeans and flip-flops.
Cathy Harvey: (Cathy kissing Dakota) Good job!
Cathy Harvey: Those three kids mean the world to me. When I became a parent, no one told you. It doesn't come with a direction book and it doesn't say, you know, "I'm gonna give you a special ed child."
Nazario: There's also no guide to help Cathy's three special needs children better understand their own limitations or challenges. So, when Dylan gets angry because he can't find the jeans he's looking for...
Dylan Harvey: No size 8!
Cathy Harvey: Dylan, stop!
Dylan Harvey: Mom, there's no...
Cathy Harvey: Dylan, don't worry about it! Come here!
Dylan Harvey: ... size 10!
Cathy Harvey: All right, don't worry about it, I said! Come here!
Nazario: Or, Dakota has a meltdown in the car, because he can't listen to his favorite song – again.
Cathy Harvey: Dakota, you need to drink some water now.
Nazario: Cathy uses those moments to try and teach her children how to cope with life.
Cathy Harvey: Take a deep breath. (breathes)
Dr. Douglas Vanderbilt: The mom understands that their child has a difficulty in frustration tolerance around dealing with the world.
Nazario: Dr. Douglas Vanderbilt is a pediatrician at Children's Hospital Los Angeles. He specializes in autism.
Vanderbilt: And that's why it's helpful sometimes to have a diagnosis, so that it's not seen as a behavioral problem that has no basis, but is really a more cognitive processing, social communication difficulty that the child is having.
Nazario: He says a mom's gentleness can help special needs kids bridge that gap.
Cathy Harvey: Can you go get a big hanger out of mom's closet, please?
Dylan Harvey: One big hanger, coming uppy up!
Cathy Harvey: And you need to have a lot of patience.
Nazario: Although, Cathy Harvey admits, it's not always easy.
Cathy Harvey: And, yes, there are times that I have to go into the bathroom, do a little screaming dance, and come out and take a deep breath and say, OK, let's try this again.
Nazario: Then, there are the times when Cathy can't run and hide, like when she and the boys are at the grocery store.
Cathy Harvey: I get questions asked, "Are they all three yours? Are they adopted? How could this possibly happen in one family?" That's what I get. And my answer to that is I'm lucky, and blessed.
Nazario: Cathy says she's dreamed about being a mother since childhood.
Cathy Harvey: Go get me your jammies that are on your bed.
Dakota Harvey: Yes, Mom!
Nazario: Despite her children's medical limitations, she maintains she's living a dream come true.
Dakota Harvey: Here's my jammies. My Superman.
Cathy Harvey: OK. What else do you need to bring me?
Dakota Harvey:Three underwears!
Cathy Harvey:OK.
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