Support for LAist comes from
We Explain L.A.
Stay Connected

Share This


Kobe Wants To Be Traded? Just Do It.

LAist relies on your reader support, not paywalls.
Freely accessible local news is vital. Please power our reporters and help keep us independent with a donation today.

Fuck Kobe Bryant and his whining bitchass OC spoiled brat yuppiefuck bullshit.

The myopic, unwavering love of Kobe by so many Laker fans is baffling. Eclipsed only by the kool-aid drinking adoration of George Bush by his equally retardulous base.

Here's what Kobe has been given while having the honor of being a Laker:

Support for LAist comes from

- the best coach ever
- the best center of his era
- the best owner ever
- the best GM ever
- the best new stadium
- Gary freaking Payton and Karl freaking Malone
- the Laker girls
- a pass on banging that chick in Colorado the night before having SECRET KNEE SURGERY
- the best announcer ever
- the best nba franchise ever
- millions and millions and millions of dollars

Not a bad fate for a kid drafted #15 by the Charlotte Hornets.

And here's how Kobe rewards LA - he demands to be traded like a bitch:

Stephen A. Smith: Is there ANYTHING the Los Angeles Lakers can do to get you to remain with the organization? Kobe: No, bro

While Shaq was with the Lakers, Kobe was able to help the team in a major way, granted, and win three championships. But as Kobe grew up, he didn't mature as a man. And certainly not in the way we have grown used to Laker stars maturing. Say what you will about Shaq's weight or free throw percentage, as a leader and with the media, Shaq very gracefully followed in the footsteps of the Showtime Lakers who knew about respect and honor.

In fact the good riddance farewell that many Team Kobe Laker "fans" gave the Big Fella would have given lesser stars ammo to talk crap about LA, but unlike Kobe, Shaq has class. Not to mention a new ring that he earned last year, son.