Keith Richards Says Drugs Blow Today, Prefers Earlier Buzz

The posterboy of rock 'n roll drug excess, Keith Richards, is quiting the illegal activity because of shitty quality, the scrawny guitarist told London's Q magazine recently.

"I think the quality's gone down. All they do is try and take the high out of everything." Richards slurred, not specifying who "they" are.

"I don't like the way drugs now are working on your brain area instead of just through the blood stream. That's why I don't take any of them anymore," the co-writer of "Sister Morphine", "Wild Horses," and "Brown Sugar" complained, clearly still reeling from falling out of a coconut tree.

However he did say that while recovering in the hospital he found no problems with medicinal opiates. "I've had a couple of weeks on morphine. I did try to squeeze a little bit more out of the night nurse. She was very accommodating."

Now correct us if we're wrong, but the last time LAist checked, when drugs get into your blood stream (via smoking or eating or injecting) they trigger reactions in your brain that cause the euphoric sensations that recreational drug users yearn for. Therefore unless Mr. Richards has somehow invented a new way of getting the dope directly into his gray matter without the common vehicle of the bloodstream, perhaps he was high at the time of the interview.

Either way, bumbling, rambling, non-sensical classic rockers, too fucked up to know what they're talking about, are still far more interesting than today's emo-obsessed indie rockers, in LAist's opinion -- to which we recommend that the Stones make sure to hit up conservative talk show host Rush Limbaugh if they want to know about modern-day drugs and how to take them without any legal ramifications.

Besides, since Limbaugh is still in support of this administration, it's proof positive that his drugs are clearly more powerful and potent than ours... or Keefe's.

The Stones will play Dodger Stadium on November 18, where tickets are being scalped sold on eBay for as much as 1,300 a pair for 16th row floor seats.

AP photo by Robert E. Klein