Truth matters. Community matters. Your support makes both possible. LAist is one of the few places where news remains independent and free from political and corporate influence. Stand up for truth and for LAist. Make your year-end tax-deductible gift now.
This is an archival story that predates current editorial management.
This archival content was written, edited, and published prior to LAist's acquisition by its current owner, Southern California Public Radio ("SCPR"). Content, such as language choice and subject matter, in archival articles therefore may not align with SCPR's current editorial standards. To learn more about those standards and why we make this distinction, please click here.
Inmate Celebrates Salami-Free Seinfeld Festivus From Jail
Claiming religious affiliation with fictional Seinfeld holiday "Festivus," 38-year-old inmate Malcolm Alarmo King, a convicted drug dealer, got a judge to grant him high-protein, kosher meals because he didn't want to eat salami.
"It's not uncommon for folks in custody to try to get something than what other people have, and this was a pretty good attempt to do that," said Cmdr. Dave Wilson of the Orange County Sheriff's Department reports ABC Local.
A pretty good attempt, indeed. While rumored to be based in real-life holiday trauma, Festivus is a purely sitcom occasion comprised of feats of strength, the airing of grievances and an aluminum pole. Even Ben & Jerry's made an ice cream in honor of the ridiculousness.
King enjoyed his special meals for a couple of months at the Theo Lacy Jail facility in Orange until sheriff's food services staff realized the holiday sounded bogus. They eventually went to court to get the order thrown out. Merry Festivus for the rest of us.