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Inmate Celebrates Salami-Free Seinfeld Festivus From Jail

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Claiming religious affiliation with fictional Seinfeld holiday "Festivus," 38-year-old inmate Malcolm Alarmo King, a convicted drug dealer, got a judge to grant him high-protein, kosher meals because he didn't want to eat salami.

"It's not uncommon for folks in custody to try to get something than what other people have, and this was a pretty good attempt to do that," said Cmdr. Dave Wilson of the Orange County Sheriff's Department reports ABC Local.

A pretty good attempt, indeed. While rumored to be based in real-life holiday trauma, Festivus is a purely sitcom occasion comprised of feats of strength, the airing of grievances and an aluminum pole. Even Ben & Jerry's made an ice cream in honor of the ridiculousness.