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Suck It, Nerds. Happy Drinking Straw Day!

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It's Drinking Straw Day!! Who knew LAist had so much to say on the issue. First, we'd like to publicly embarrass all humans who use drinking straws in hot beverages (minus those with a medical excuse prohibiting normal sippage). We'd also like to acknowledge the special jobs of the Slurpee scooper, the boba "extra-wide," the accordion flexyhead and the hard-plastic, can't-quite-ever-clean-it-well-enough curly straw.

Please remember to take some time from your celebration this year to learn a little more about the origin of the holiday, the history of the straw, and the creator of this game-changing invention. Can you even imagine L.A. without straws?! All that lipstick and cocaine and carrot juice smeared everywhere?! Thank. Goodness. For. Drinking. Straws.