Grammy red carpet webcast

The microphones are on in the CBS-2 webcast booth on the edge of the red carpet, and they're complaining about the lack of celebrity juice that's come by. "It's only 4," the hostess Lisa Joyner says. She must have watched the SAG Awards because she's in lavender just like all the Desperate Housewives. She's just spent a few minutes talking to Miss California, who can be picked out by the not-so-subtle "Miss California" banner draped across her body.

Now lavender lady is picking out her eye snot while looking into a compact. Nice.

We hear the cameraman say he needs a screwdriver to fix his backfocus problem. It's in the brown pack.

She's told 2 people that their song is on her iPod.

She is lying.

Hey, hey it's Wonder Mike! He stops to say Hello. Sugar Hill Gang. He's so much cooler than Miss Lavender who turns away saying "Wonder Mike?" in a snide way, obviously clueless, and the webcast central guy who comes on in a voiceover and, laughing, says he's wondering who he is. OH YOU MUST DIE. Click on the link first and learn yourself.

Voiceover guy Allan Carter actually PRAISES lavender lady for interviewing bands when she knows nothing about them. She says, into the mic "Who else is best new artist?" Hey, KCBS, we can point you to a ton of music journalists who know something about music. Who might, say, do some damn homework before going on the air. We're here for you.

Can't stand it anymore. Must. Log. Off.