Congress has cut federal funding for public media — a $3.4 million loss for LAist. We count on readers like you to protect our nonprofit newsroom. Become a monthly member and sustain local journalism.
This is an archival story that predates current editorial management.
This archival content was written, edited, and published prior to LAist's acquisition by its current owner, Southern California Public Radio ("SCPR"). Content, such as language choice and subject matter, in archival articles therefore may not align with SCPR's current editorial standards. To learn more about those standards and why we make this distinction, please click here.
Let Them Eat Candy: The Call for a Trick Or Treating Revolution
()
I ask you, ladies and gentleman, is there anything better than trick or treating? Is there anything more sublime than getting into costume, grabbing a pillowcase and taking to the streets in a search for free candy? I’m going to be bold enough to say that Trick Or Treating is the most joy-inducing, yet wholesome, activity on Earth and one of the great pleasures of being an American. But this pleasure, this delight, this euphoria, is ripped out of our lives when we reach an adult age. For some reason it is deemed inappropriate for an adult, or for even some unfortunately large teenagers, to go Trick Or Treating. Why, my fellow Angelenos, why? This ageism has to stop. This cruelty has to end. Which is why I am calling for a Trick Or Treating revolution! Say it with me now, “Let us eat candy!!!”
Now, I know what you are thinking. The “mean”, “nasty” older kids, or even bold adults, who trick or treat always ruin it for the little ones; the cute six year olds get trampled and cry and their whole magical night is ruined. And you’re right, some of us big ones can be rude and pushy. I’m not down with that. This revolution isn’t about taking a great tradition away from kids, it’s about giving it to all. Why should my fun end at sixteen? Adult life is sad and harsh enough. Halloween is the one night of the year when everyone lets their inner-child run free. So why should it be stopped from running free on the streets?
Continue reading about the Trick Or Treating Revolution after the jump!
There are some rules, of course, if we adults want to be able to Trick Or Treat. It's all about being a giver AND a taker. Here's the way it goes:
Support for LAist comes from
1. Don't be greedy. If you want to Trick Or Treat, get your ass to the market or Costco and buy some Halloween candy. Proceed to hand this out to kids between 5:30 PM to at least 6:30 PM. Also when you return from your round of Trick Or Treating, you should still man your door and continue handing out candy. If you acquired any candy that isn't to your taste while on your run, please put these in your hand out bowl and give them to kids. It's called recycling people!
2. Don't spend more than one hour Trick-Or-Treating. Again, it's all about understanding that as an adult we can have fun while still being considerate of other treaters. If you are out all night, than treaters passing by your house will lose out. That's no good. But if you are only gone for an hour, you can have your fun and still give back to the community.
3. Never push aside little kids. That should be obvious but just in case...NEVER PUSH LITTLE KIDS! Unless there's only one Twix bar left... then, and only then, is it fair to fight to the death.
4. Always be polite. Say "thank you" to everyone who is kind enough to fill your pillowcase with candy. Note that I said "candy" and not "raisins."
5. Always wear a costume! You can't expect candy if you aren't entirely embracing the spirit of the holiday. But make sure it's a family-friendly costume. Going as "Filthy Whore" or "Dong Man" would not be appropriate.
6. Respect Karma. If adults should stop by your house, of course give them candy. Don't look at them like they are crazy assholes. No, quite the opposite. These adults should be applauded for their chocolate-loving balls!
That covers the basics. It's mainly about using common sense and being respectful. As long as adults don't ruin it for kids, and can nicely coincide with them, I really don't see why they should be banned from Trick Or Treating.
Support for LAist comes from
I hope that all those adults reading this, who may decide just to stay home and hand out candy on Halloween, will please gladly hand out candy to any adult Trick Or Treater who comes by. The revolution won't be televised, but it will begin October 31, 2007. And if we can take a stand, and show that adults can have fun too without ruining Trick Or Treating for the kids, we might just change the world--or at least an American Tradition--for the better. I'll be hitting the streets, and I hope to see you there.
photo by dchrisoh via FlickR.
As Editor-in-Chief of our newsroom, I’m extremely proud of the work our top-notch journalists are doing here at LAist. We’re doing more hard-hitting watchdog journalism than ever before — powerful reporting on the economy, elections, climate and the homelessness crisis that is making a difference in your lives. At the same time, it’s never been more difficult to maintain a paywall-free, independent news source that informs, inspires, and engages everyone.
Simply put, we cannot do this essential work without your help. Federal funding for public media has been clawed back by Congress and that means LAist has lost $3.4 million in federal funding over the next two years. So we’re asking for your help. LAist has been there for you and we’re asking you to be here for us.
We rely on donations from readers like you to stay independent, which keeps our nonprofit newsroom strong and accountable to you.
No matter where you stand on the political spectrum, press freedom is at the core of keeping our nation free and fair. And as the landscape of free press changes, LAist will remain a voice you know and trust, but the amount of reader support we receive will help determine how strong of a newsroom we are going forward to cover the important news from our community.
Please take action today to support your trusted source for local news with a donation that makes sense for your budget.
Thank you for your generous support and believing in independent news.
Chip in now to fund your local journalism
(
LAist
)
Trending on LAist
-
With less to prove than LA, the city is becoming a center of impressive culinary creativity. -
Nearly 470 sections of guardrailing were stolen in the last fiscal year in L.A. and Ventura counties.
-
Monarch butterflies are on a path to extinction, but there is a way to support them — and maybe see them in your own yard — by planting milkweed.
-
With California voters facing a decision on redistricting this November, Surf City is poised to join the brewing battle over Congressional voting districts.
-
The drug dealer, the last of five defendants to plead guilty to federal charges linked to the 'Friends' actor’s death, will face a maximum sentence of 65 years in prison.
-
The weather’s been a little different lately, with humidity, isolated rain and wind gusts throughout much of Southern California. What’s causing the late-summer bout of gray?
Best of LAist