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Food

Human Cheese & Other Delights

Elina Shatkin

Published Jun 17, 2007 11:00 PM

Before that dumbass vegan couple in Georgia starved their baby to death by feeding him soy milk and apple juice instead of breast milk (and all the subsequent outrage that caused), one woman was boldly going where few in the culinary world dare venture: making human cheese. More specifically, making Paneer from her own breast milk.

I've often wondered what would happen if such an endeavor was viable on a mass scale. What kind of Lady Cheese Products might we see on grocery store shelves?

Top 13 Suggested Products from the Human Dairy
13. Bree's Brie
12. Boob Tube (processed spreadable human cheese in a tube)
11. Boobybel
10. Blue Vein
9. Gal-legio
8. Frottage Cheese
7. Mam-irolle
6. Madam Edam
5. Momzarella
4. Chedd-Her
3. Monterey Jill
2. Womanchego
1. I Can't Believe It's Not Udder!

Thanks to Rob Takata and Sean Humphries for input and assistance.