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So, you get into work this morning, and the first thing that happens is you hear Janine from Finance complimenting the "fine, muddy grog" as she gestures toward her coffee mug. Then Andre claims his papercut is actually a swashbuckling injury. Uh oh. It's International Talk Like A Pirate Day again already? Your attempt last year to participate by adding "arr" to the end of every sentence came off a little limp, and your pirate vocabulary hasn't improved any since then.

First off, you need to get a good pirate name. Once you've taken care of that, ol' Pink Calico Dread, brush up on your communications skills by visiting a couple of helpful websites here and thar. Aye, who's a squiffy now?

Shiver me timbers, it's quitting time already. All swabbed up and no place to practice your new lingo tonight? Check out Pirate Bingo night at the Wild Hare in Highland Park. Pirate Law #1 is "a pirate does not ask for directions. He relies only on his gut feeling, a compass, or a treasure map," but in case your gut is off from too much rum, you'll find the Wild Hare at 5018 York Blvd. at Avenue 50. Games start at 9pm, and the only old ladies you're likely to see working the cards could give ol' Granny Wale a run for her money.

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Hearty thanks and curtsies to Mike Watt for the many helpful links

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