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Exclusive Interview with a Corrections Officer at a Jail Similar to Where Paris Hilton will spend 45 Days

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In our final installment of our multi-part interview with a law enforcement officer who was nice enough to tell us all what Paris Hilton will have in store for her when she goes to jail next month, we learn about the fine cuisine she will gorge on, as well as the likelihood of her getting her ass beat.

LAist: What is the typical schedule for an inmate like Paris?

Correctional Deputy: Get up as early as 5am for a head count. Have a few minutes to get ready enough to go get your food tray, unless they get served through their cuffport.

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Get a nice heaping serving of low sodium crap. (Probably looks like slop). Go back and go to bed for a little while. Maybe engage in a little t.v time or cell time... Or go to some AA meeting or a life skills class.

Then phone time. She should be careful with this though. She could piss off a lot of people for trying to stay on the phone during her first few days instead of sharing with them. It's understandable because she probably won't have any friends right away. But if she is the typical inmate she will spend her first session of phone time crying to her family and friends on the phone. A lot.

Then maybe another head count or racked-in for whatever reason that would provide safety and security for the facility. More cell time...

Lunch...bologna sandwich...Like everyday. Which she will most likely say she can't eat and make a lame excuse or lie about, hoping she would be given something else. Some think if they say they are a vegetarian they will get a salad. Some think if they say it is for religious reasons they will get something better. Not so. She either eats the crap or lives off of other inmates' side dishes, and milk/juice for 45 days.

Maybe she will go do some activity or get counseling.

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More cell time...maybe read a book that someone offered her...maybe just a bible that was left by the last inmate that occupied that cell. Another head count.. More cell time..... More cell time... looking at the walls or if she has a celley [cell mate] talk to her.

Dinner...more slop... Maybe another head count.... Cell time... Lock down....Lights out....

Or at least something to that effect. My understanding, this location you gave me, only recently opened up again and is an all women's facility. I suppose things are pretty damn clean and nice with all the programming classes you could handle. With religious services more than 1 or 2 x's a week.