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Weekend Movie Guide: One gem, much coal
Photo courtesy of Rialto Pictures
This weekend's new movie offererings are so spectacularly awful that I felt compelled to lead with the dreamy 1961 French classic, Last Year At Mariendbad, which opens this weekend at the Nuart. You'll probably walk out of the theater wondering what in the hell you just saw (it's trippy and plotless), but at least you'll be challenged a little bit. That certainly won't be the case with Jessica Alba's latest snoozer, The Eye. This "horror" movie is, of course, a re-make of a better Japanese film. Please Jesus, make this trend and this actress go away.
Last summer, I raved about Steve Zahn's performance in the very underrated Rescue Dawn. I don't think I'll be doing the same with Strange Wilderness. How Jonah Hill and Justin Long decided to come along for this ride I will never know. I guess actors have mortgages, too. Director Fred Wolf is notable for directing the worst of Adam Sandler's many bad comedies, Little Nicky. Of course, Strange Wilderness looks like The Third Man when measured against Over Her Dead Body. Eva Longoria I understand--she's awful--but why, Paul Rudd? Why?
Photo courtesy of Disney
Pervert alert: parents keep a close eye on your kids at screenings of Hannah Montana/Miley Cyrus: Best of Both Worlds Concert Tour. Any adult attending solo is cause for concern. I can't pretend to understand the appeal of Miley Cyrus so I won't bother trying. I do find it creepy, though, that parents are comfortable having their kid become such a huge star. Sure, the money's nice, but you are probably ruining the kid's fucking life if history is any guide. Good job, Billy Ray. Looking forward to Miley humiliating herself on reality TV in 5 years.
Caramel is probably the best new movie opening this weekend so, naturally, no one will see it. It's a romantic comedy centering on the lives of five Lebanese women in Beirut. If that didn't excite you enough, the dialogue is spoken in French and Arabic. Caramel was Lebanon's official submission for this year's Oscars but didn't make the cut. Still, it's worth your ticket money if you can steel yourself to see a foreign film.
Tickets & Showtimes
Last Year At Mariendbad
Over Her Dead Body
Hannah Montana/Miley Cyrus: Best of Both Worlds Concert Tour