Support for LAist comes from
We Explain L.A.
Stay Connected

Share This

Arts and Entertainment

The Worst Idea In History

LAist relies on your reader support, not paywalls.
Freely accessible local news is vital. Please power our reporters and help keep us independent with a donation today.
5b2b5b3d4488b30009267851-original.jpg

No, We're not talking about the proposed 700 Billion Dollar giveaway/complete abbrogation of checks and balances that Henry Paulson is trying to mad-dog out of congress this week*. We're referring to the latest diseased rumblings from the filth merchants who call themselves Studio Executives. In this case, much like a frat boy found date-raping someone, who then reacts to the horrified shrieks by asking "want a piece?", Universal has announced that some hackneyed reprobates named Timur Bekmambetov, Adam Cooper and Bill Collage are going to do this:

Universal Pictures has made a splashy preemptive buy of "Moby Dick," a reimagining of the Herman Melville whale tale that Timur Bekmambetov ("Wanted") will direct. Studio paid high six figures to Adam Cooper and Bill Collage to pen the screenplay.

Really. A "reimagining?" Really. What, pray tell, do they intend to reimagine?
The writers revere Melville’s original text, but their graphic novel-style version will change the structure. Gone is the first-person narration by the young seaman Ishmael, who observes how Ahab’s obsession with killing the great white whale overwhelms his good judgment as captain.
Support for LAist comes from

You know how child molesters always claim, once they're caught, that they aren't monsters at all, but that they love children and they just have a child-like love of life and love the joy and innocence that only raping and traumatizing a child can give you? Claiming to "revere" something that you refer to as "text is the artistic moral equivalent. Good job**.