The Greatest Television on the Internet Ever
Last night's Big Brother was amazing.
In an endurance competition to decide the final two, Evil Dick, his hotass estranged daughter, and the big fratboy ogre Zach were showered with rain for over six hours as they held on to a key hung from a rope above them.
Dick lived up to his name by talking the best trash you've ever heard in your life. Because of the nature of the game, a reality game show where 14 "house guests" live in a small house in the Valley and vote each other out over a period of the summer, by now everything about Zach's life and gameplaying was available for Dick to use against him.
Ironically it's Dick who could be the target of hours of verbal assaults. He can't hold down a relationship, he's disgusting, he chain smokes, he constantly spits, he's abusive and abrasive so much that his daughter Danielle, a waitress at Hooters in Huntington Beach, hadn't spoken to him in years.
But Zach is a quiet, dorky, lunk who experienced all of the social obstacles in the Big Brother house as he did in high school. No one befriended him, no one talked to him, in fact they kidded that any time there was a little group that was talking that if Zach arrived it would dissipate quickly.
And yet somehow there Zach stood in the final three... against the knockout bleach blonde rail thin daughter and her foul mouthed and genius Tommy Lee wannabe father.
"Come on, pussy," Dick taunted as the water fell and his daughter cried and shivered in the cold. "Do the teeth! Fuck you, you piece of shit."