Liveblogging The 2013 Primetime Emmy Awards
8:09 Vince Gilligan says, "Holy crap" over Breaking Bad Best Drama win. Says he thought the award was going to House of Cards or several other shows in this "golden age of television." And that's a wrap, folks. Just 10 minutes over schedule but wow, did that feel long.
8:04 p.m. Will Ferrell presents Best Comedy with his kids, while wearing T-shirt and shorts, saying "Helen Mirren and Maggie Smith dropped out at the last second, they called me literally 45 minutes ago. I couldn't find child care, okay?" Emmy goes to Modern Family. Creator thanks the "bullies who made fun of the way we ran. Without you, we never would have gone into comedy."
8:02 p.m. Michael Douglas wins out over co-star Matt Damon, makes awkward "two-hander" speech, saying that "you're only as good as your other hand" and asks, "Do you want the top or the bottom" of the Emmy. Thanks estranged wife Catherine Zeta-Jones "for her support." And son, Cameron, who is serving a 5-year jail sentence.
7:53 p.m. Steven Soderbergh gives second-shortest acceptance speech, thanking his lead actors with "Salut."
7:49 p.m. Finally Larry Hagman and Jack Klugman get some recognition. The individual "In Memoriam" segments we got, apart from the Gandolfini one, felt flat.
7:43 p.m. Emmy fatigue is setting in. How many awards left? (Gothamist is declaring this "Worst Emmys ever.") Anyway, congrats to James Cromwell, who picks up an Emmy for American Horror Story: Asylum.
7:34 p.m. The most heartfelt tribute of the night: Edie Falco remembers James Gandolfini. Still hard to believe such a bigger-than-life actor is gone.
7:25 p.m. Digging these dance versions of show intros. Derek Hough + Mad Men. Boardwalk Empire is now Broadway Empire. Hip hop Breaking Bad. Was that a Nappy Tabs routine? Choreography Emmy goes to Derek Hough.
7:07 p.m. Bob Newhart gets another standing ovation. Muppet Daily Show! Sorry, Muppets, The Colbert Report wins. Stephen Colbert thanks his wife for being "so cruel and sexy."
7:04 p.m.Whose beard was more epic: John Hamm's or Mandy Patinkin's? Who is balder: Damian Lewis or Breaking Bad's Dean Norris?
7:02 p.m. Jimmy Fallon is surprisingly straightforward on this presentation... hey, what's going on with that mike? Thanks for one of the few laughs of the night, Jimmy. Lead Actress, Drama goes to Claire Danes. We are not surprised.
6:50 p.m. No clips so far for actors who died this year, but package of clips of John F. Kennedy assassination and funeral and the Beatles invasion. And... a segue to Carrie Underwood's musical tribute, "Yesterday," which makes it seem like all the Beatles are dead now. Hey, Paul McCartney is playing Hollywood Boulevard tomorrow night!
6:47 p.m. Jeff Daniels accepts his Outstanding Lead Actor in a Drama award, humbly says, "Oh crap!" and is clearly unprepared.
6:45 p.m. Bobby Cannavale (Boardwalk Empire) takes the Outstanding Supporting Actor In a Drama prize. We're going to go hug Breaking Bad's Aaron Paul and Jonathan Banks.
6:42 p.m. Diahann Carroll and Kerry Washington share the stage. Beautiful! She calls Kerry "a gift to all of us," and says, "tonight she better get this award." (Washington would be the first African-American actress to win in this category and is only the second nominated.)
6:37 p.m. Mindy Kaling and Arrow's Stephen Arnell present together. Or, Missed Opportunity Casting For Fifty Shades of Gray.
6:35 p.m. Highlight so far: Nathan Fillion singing, surrounded by chorus girls. And Sarah Silverman singing the word "vagina!" Seth MacFarlane would love this.
6:28 p.m. Jane Lynch remembers Cory Monteith, saying, "he wasn't perfect," but he was "worthy of your love." No clips. Odd.
6:27 p.m. Anna Gunn wins supporting actress, drama. Does this mean the beginning of a Breaking Bad sweep? She thanks "mad genius" Vince Gilligan and ... tread lightly orchestra, when playing over Walter White's wife.
6:23 p.m. Excessive Hosting Disorder skit... could have been a lot funnier.
6:14 p.m. Why does Michael Douglas keep shrugging his shoulders? Guess he needed one more tux fitting. Outstanding Lead Actress in a Miniseries or a Movie goes to Laura Linney. So many no-shows in this category.
5:57 p.m. Rob Reiner eulogizes both Jean Stapleton and her beloved TV character, Edith Bunker. He's probably not the only one getting a little teary-eyed. Awkward segue to still-alive (and newly minted Emmy winner) Bob Newhart.
5:53 p.m. Jimmy Kimmel and Sofia Vergara tell us "Laughter is not good medicine," it actually "kills innocent people." That means that, according to this year's Emmy voters, Jim Parsons is a deadlier comedian than Alec Baldwin, Jason Bateman or Louis C.K.
5:50 p.m.Gail Macuso is only the second woman to win an Emmy for Best Comedy Directing. Congrats, but based on her not-funny speech, good thing she's directing and not writing for Modern Family.
5:41 p.m. Neil Patrick Harris reveals his biological parents: Jon Hamm and Alec Baldwin! A bearded Hamm and smooth-shaven Baldwin present Outstanding Lead Actress In a Comedy. The winner is ... Julia Louis-Dreyfus! Fourth Emmy win and 16th nomination. That kinda makes her the Meryl Streep of TV! 'Veep' sweep continues as she accepts, in character, with Tony Hale by her side prompting her on whom to thank.
5:35 p.m. Another upset! A non-Modern Family actor wins Outstanding Supporting Actor in a Comedy Series. Residual Arrested Development love for Veep's Tony Hale? Not from the orchestra, who is cutting him off.
5:26 p.m. Neil declares Merritt Wever's acceptance speech, "best speech ever." Malin Akerman and LL Cool J present Outstanding Writing for a Comedy Series. Emmy goes to Tina Fey and Tracey Wigfield who tells her parents, "I know you're disappointed because you love Louie. Tina tells Tracey, "No one said you could talk," then thanks her partner for making her "feel lazy and stupid every day. For that I thank you."
5:17 p.m. Tina Fey, yowza! And Amy Poehler, also looking nice. Presenting Supporting Actress in Comedy to... upset! Merritt Wever, Nurse Jackie. Super short speech. "Wow, thanks so much. I gotta go... bye." Brevity, always welcome! Especially since, as Amy said, the show is "already 25 minutes behind schedule."
5:12 p.m. Jimmy Kimmel and Jane Lynch crash the stage, and here's Jimmy Fallon. Neil says Fallon's tap dancing is "far too gay." And Conan O'Brien... so many hosts! Kevin Spacey sinister aside: "It's all going according to my plan. Getting them all to sabotage Neil was too easy." And now Neil's being heckled by Tina Fey and Amy Poehler. First twerk reference.
5:10 p.m. "For every Smash, there's a Splash. Wise words. First Paula Deen joke. "Not soon enough?"
5:05 p.m Neil Patrick Harris kicks off the show by binge watching the entire series of every television show nominated. We could have done that too, if we had but time and TVs enough. "Are you ready," asks Walter White in the final clip. For the Emmys, yes. For the end of Breaking Bad, nooo!
Is this football thing going to wrap up in time for the Emmycast? #priorities
4:45 p.m. Got your Emmy h'ors d'ouevres? The red carpet is wrapping up and we can't help but note that a Big Bang Theory nerd showed up wearing Google Glass.
Almost time to hand out those dangerously pointy awards!
Neil Patrick Harris is hosting and history might be made tonight, depending on what's in those envelopes.
LAist's Arts & Entertainment Editor Christine Ziemba in the Emmys Press Room and I'm liveblogging here and on Twitter (@LAist).