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The LAist Comedy Gift Guide

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The holidays are here. Don't f*cking remind me. Photo courtesy borrowed via LAist Featured Photo pool on flickr.

So much of this holiday season is about giving ‘gifts’. It’s all so commercialized, bro. You’ve got gifts for kids, gifts for drinkers. You’ve even got gift ideas for people who sure as hell can’t afford to buy you a gift in return. Thanks but no thanks, douchetards. This year, it’s all about getting people shit they don’t need. And probably don’t even want. For stocking stuffers, I’m just getting everyone a picture of my wiener inside the stocking they’re holding on to. That’ll teach you to trust a twentysomething with limited income and anger management issues. Bro.

Why not spend this holiday season like your aunt does: by getting terribly drunk, hip-swiveling your way through a Steely Dan album, and being brutally honest with those around you? Trust me, those that remain on speaking terms will thank you for the refreshing face you put on their bleak lives. And if not, fuck it. Just fart into the eggnog and pass out under the tree (if that’s your thing). Below is a look at the REAL people you’re going to be surrounded by this year, and the perfect gift for them.

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Your Slightly Racist Uncle Who Couldn’t Bring Himself to Vote for Obama

Stuff White People Like, the book. A bunch of oh-so-truisms about what it means to be a white person in America. After all, it's not offensive if it's in a book, right?