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BREAKING: Mayor Eric Garcetti Says He Is 'Definitely Not A Hipster'

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Mayor Eric Garcetti announced on Twitter (the third most-hipster platform after typewritten notes and Instagram) that he is "definitely not a hipster." Which is obviously a total hipster thing to say.He added the hashtag #notenoughfacialhair, and today he tweeted out a photo of himself with an ironic mustache to a Twitter account that anthropomorphizes Los Angeles' weather.

Hipster is a relative term (if it means anything at all), and according to the theory of hipster relativity, Garcetti is a hipster mayor. Because what other mayor of a major city would jam with Moby, and get profiled by both Paper Mag and Dwell? (Sam Adams on Portlandia doesn't count.)

Then again, at the end of the day, being a politician isn't all that hipster. Sure, sometimes you get to eat pizza from Mozza with Michelle Obama, but you have to do it at the home of the guy who created Everybody Loves Raymond, a sitcom that no human under the age of 40—hipster or not—ever liked, not even ironically. Worst of all? He's entertaining a "supply-side fantasy" of phasing out the city's business tax, which seems incredibly un-hipster and very Rick Perry.