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Wait, You Mean That Pill Won't Make My Penis Bigger? ExtenZe Maker Ordered to Pay Consumer Settlement

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No matter what Jimmy Johnson, the spokesman for ExtenZe says, their little pills don't help a man's littler penis get bigger. Alas, the Monrovia-based Biotab Nutraceuticals Inc. have been misleading customers with their "unsubstantiated advertising claims," for their supplements, including ExtenZe, and are now being made to payout $1.75M in civil penalties to their deflated consumers.

Among the aggrandized claims about the penis enhancing pills are that the more expensive ones, costing over a buck a pop, are "the strongest, most advanced formula available to increase size and enhance sexual desire, pleasure and performance," reports the Associated Press (via HuffPo).

The pills are an herbal concoction that come with a "risk free" and "money back" guarantee they will make things better down there for dudes who need a little boost. Maybe it was grammar that hung them up, considering the heinous sentence construction in their big, boasting claims, like that their pills are "guaranteed to really increase your penis girth and penis size in just a few short weeks of taking these medically formulated enhancement pills!" and:

And in the world of today and for over half a century these simple tablets have really been making a much better difference in men's lives. "Simple tablets" today are now considered mini miracles of modern times today.
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Well, in the world of today, the courts are calling baloney, since no scientific research supports those claims. In addition to the penalties determined in a Santa Ana court yesterday, Biotab has been ordered to "pay restitution to consumers who have not received refunds after filing complaints between from 2006 to 2011." So, sorry fellas, your money is the only thing you're going to be getting back with ExtenZe.